When We Were Young

Never Ending Misery

"I never got to ask you this, but, why did you cry the first time I told you I love you?"

Napatingin ako bigla sa kanya. His question made me feel nervous. I felt the scar on my arm burning again. And like a natural reflex, I caressed the scar as if trying to ease the burning feeling. Yumuko ako. I tried to ignore his question and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Alam mo naman na lamigin ka, hindi ka pa din nagdala ng sweater." Rhapsody said as he put his long sleeve shirt around me. I didn't even notice that he took it off.

Naka-muscle shirt sya. Katulad ng mga sinusuot nya noon pag may tugtog sya. He looked like the old Rhapsody. Long hair na lang ang kulang.

"Namumula na yung ilong mo. Baka sipunin ka nyan." He said casually.

Nakaupo kami sa isang park bench just a few blocks away from my apartment. I knew I had to sit down after his comment about my music. When I told him that I wanted to sit for a while, sa park nya ako agad hinila. Isinandal nya yung bike ko sa likod ng bench atsaka kami umupo.

"Hindi naman siguro." Sagot ko sa kanya. "Sanay naman na ko sa weather dito."

"But still bring a cardigan when you go out at night."

"You sound like daddy." I commented.

"Kaya mahal ako ni tito Robi eh." He was being smug.

"Paanong hindi ka mamahalin ni daddy, eh matinding panliligaw ang ginawa mo sa kanya." I smiled at the memory of him and daddy. Sobrang panunuyo ang ginawa ni Rhapsody noon. Hindi sya sumuko kahit napakasungit ni daddy sa kanya.

"Matinding panliligaw din naman ginawa ko sayo noon ah. Kahit di ko alam kung paano manligaw ginawa ko pa din. Kahit hindi ko alam paano manligaw ng babaeng kuntento na."

"Mahirap ba talaga ako ligawan?" I turned to him. He looked back at me. He looked entertained by my question. I turned away. "I mean, nahirapan ka ba talaga ligawan ako?"

"Nahirapan ako magsimula manligaw." He sighed. "Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano umabot ng tala eh."

Napalingon ulit ako sa kanya. Niloloko na naman nya ko. He wants to make me feel awkward again. Parang noon lang whenever he wanted to get a reaction from me.

"Niloloko mo na naman ako ah." I said as I shook my head.

"No." He was serious. "I am not just making you feel awkward, if that is what you're thinking."

Still the mind reader that he is...

"I'm not a star." I said bluntly.

"You aren't. Your heart's the star." He sighed. "And you're the universe."