Scara Rose, The Warrior

Chapter 30

Chris' pov

Dear Chris,

My love, there is so much I have to tell you. Stuff I have wanted you to know for so long, but I never did tell you.

If you are reading this then my family made it back and I have moved on. You'll have to ask my family where I went to, because I still have my doubts that I'm good enough to go to Heaven.

Speaking of family, brace yourself because this is the craziest family tree I have ever seen.

I talked to Henry and he's seems to be very good friends with you.

Please let him in, fully.

Don't shut him out now because I'm gone. You both need each other, and I need to know that you will be there for each other.

God, there's so much I want to tell you. I miss you so much. Every day I'm here in the Underworld kills me. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you. I found a guitar down here. I play and sing whenever I get the chance to feel closer to you. It helps a little, but I just miss you.

I wish I could kiss you one last time, to feel your arms hold me tight, to hear your contagious laugh, to look into your beautiful brown eyes that make me melt, to hear one of your sweet nicknames again, but most of all, I wish I could be there with you.

Henry let me know about something. He told me that you blame yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault. I don't know how to say it more clearly.

It wasn't your fault, none of it was.

I don't blame you; it was my choice after all. I couldn't bear the thought of living without you, even though in a way I still have down here. I wasn't going to stand by and watch you be killed because of me.

I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.

The most important reason why I did it though was because I love you.

There I finally said it. I love you, Chris Anderson, with everything that I am, or was. I don't know if you realized it or not, but I tried to tell you just before I passed, but I wasn't able to. It's what drove me to take the bullet.

Love is putting someone else's needs before your own.

If I could go back, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don't regret it and I never will.

Notice how I said "I love you" instead of "loved?" That's because even if I'm dead, I still love you and I always will. Someone once said that death can't stop love; all it can do is delay it for a while, and that couldn't be truer.

Please don't close your heart off to love just because I'm not there with you. You have a family, my family, and it may seem impossible, but you can find love again.

Don't believe me? Ask Henry's mom, either of them.

All I ask is that you never forget me.

I just wish I could physically be there for you now, but I can't. However, corny alert, I am always with you. I promise you that if I'm in Heaven, I'm watching over you. I have faith that we will be together again. Hopefully it won't be too soon though, don't go die on me anytime soon.

I will see you again, my love.

With all the love in my heart,

Scara Rose

I am sobbing full force at this point. I needed this. I needed to know that she's ok. A part of me still blames myself, but now I can finally begin to heal.