Alpha's Mate (boyxboy) ✔

Effort

In the next few days, we'd been constantly going to the river to make love over and over again. And sometimes, when we felt too lazy to go back to our hut, we'd just stay there; laying on a blanket with the dark sky and sparkling stars above us as we filled our nights with countless rounds of sex. I loved how we were now though, that, whenever I saw Cole's face when he was sleeping; I'd often asked myself how could I hurt him before. He was so lovely and pure...

Like an angel.

"I like this..." I said into his hair as I stood behind him; my hands were gently massaging his flat stomach with some clay from the magical river. I'd just realized that we didn't do as what Grandma Nina had told me to do the first time we had sex though, and after then, everytime we're about to make love, we would make sure that we'd never forget Grandma Nina's instruction. In the other hand, Cole told me that he liked the soothing sensation of the clay on his stomach because of the soft texture and, after knowing that, I made sure to massage him every time after we had sex until he felt asleep in my arms. "...I love the fact that we're together now".

Cole was silent. He leaned his head against my chest as I pulled him closer --- my head tucked on the crook of his neck and I pampered his skin with tiny butterfly kisses. Then, I heard him giggled cutely.

"It tickles!" he said between small laugh. He tried to cover his neck with his hands, but I was too quick to hold them and intertwined our fingers together. And, definitely enjoying his giggles, I kissed his neck again, sometimes even licking the pale skin just to make him felt ticklish. "...K--Kyle, ha".

"You like that, aren't you?" I asked when I'd finally pulled away.

"No".

"Why?".

"I don't need to answer that..." he said with his lips slightly jutted out.

Then, I smiled as I gently pressed my lips on his forehead.

"Thank you for giving me a chance, Cole".

He looked up at me with a small smile laced on his lips. Then, silently, he brought our intertwined hands to his lips and lightly kissed my skin. It was short and sweet --- just his lips brushed against my skin --- but a joyful, beautiful feeling erupted in my heart like fireworks and I couldn't help but smiled happily.

"Welcome".

We then spent the rest of the day making love, laying for a while and then looking for foods in the forest. Cole told me that he wanted to eat berries, like usual, and he would only eat meat after I'd forced him to. But still, it was the same like the last time. Everytime. We had to do a bargain on how much meat he should eat.

"We'll have rabbits for dinner..." I said as we walked through the forest. The warm weather and the smell of wet grasses hit my nostrils, and, thankfully though, it wasn't that hot today. So pretty much, I enjoyed being outdoor today. "...you should have some. No matter what".

"Okay..." he answered softly. I looked at his disinterested face when I told him that just now.

And I smiled.

"What's with that face?" I asked purposely whilst playfully touching his chin. I knew he didn't like it when I forced him to eat, but I really can't help it though. I had to make sure he eat enough, growing up healthy and strong. "...are you okay?".

"Nothing".

"Come on..." I then replied as I put my hand around his slim waist and pulled him closer.

"It's nothing, really..." he replied, chuckling. Then, standing on his tiptoes to put a kiss on my cheek, he added; "...I'm just tired. No energy to argue".

"Really?" I asked as I raised my brows.

He nodded small and smiled. But, it was faltering. I also noticed the dullness in his pair of dark eyes, and for a second, I wondered why with the sudden mood changed because a few minutes ago, I'm sure he looked pretty fine.

"...Cole?".

"Can we start looking for foods now? I'm starving..." he said, quickly changing the  topic as he avoiding my eyes.

I then stared at him with a deep frown. There was a lot of things playing in my mind, and I began to wonder what was probably wrong. He was acting weird all of a sudden, and I asked myself; what I'm doing wrong? Was there something I'd said that bothered him? Was he really tired like he had claimed? Or, what if, he...

No.

Cole looked happy when he was with me. He wouldn't change his mind all of a sudden. He definitely wouldn't. Besides, he'd told me that he was giving me a second chance. And I knew Cole would never break that. He's not that kind of person. I knew that.

"...Kyle?".

I snapped out of my long thought.

"Sorry..." I said, and this time, I was the one who forced the smile. It bothered me that, it's no matter how many times I'd kept telling myself that Cole would never leave me; I still wasn't fully convinced. And I am scared. "...just..." I paused. I stared at his confused face; my hands were aching to touch him, but I'm afraid that it would make him felt really uncomfortable. "...sorry..." I suddenly said.

He then blinked confusedly as he smiled small again --- too small that it almost seemed unnoticeable.

"What for?" he asked. 

I swallowed. Deep in the pit of my heart, I am really confused. I really wanted to ask him what was happen, what bother him just now, and most importantly; did he want to leave me? I knew it's not easy to forgive me entirely but, I was trying. I was trying to gain his trust back, his faith in our relationship and his love. And when he acted like that just now was hinting me that I probably didn't do anything enough to earn his forgiveness. Entirely. He gave me a second chance, sure, but that doesn't meant he'd forgive me.

I cleared my throat. I was dying to ask him but, I'm afraid. What if he said yes? That he wanted to leave me? That he wanted us to forget about our relationship and just go on our separate ways? Fuck. I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to hear his response yet, whatever that was playing in his thought, whatever he'd think about us, me and the idea of getting together. I'm not ready.

"Cole?" I called out. He quickly looked up at me with raised eyebrows. Just ask him though, my subconscious was telling me, and I stared at Cole for a while --- silently --- as I tried to collect my non existed courage. Just ask him. I pressed my lips into a thin line, hands clenched and forehead creased deeply. Just ask him. Just ask him. Just--- "Cole, can we please spend the night at the river tonight?" I asked finally. "...please".

He then chuckled. Softly.

"Sure..." he replied. I silently stared at him as he clenched my hand, heart pounding loudly against my ribcage as I leaned in to kiss his temple.

I really don't want to lose this guy.