Happy thursday, self. Today you have been disappointingly (yet unsurprisingly) unproductive. I AM SO DISAPPOINTED AT HOW CONSCIOUS YOU ARE OF YOUR ISSUES AND YET PUT ZERO EFFORT INTO CONFRONTING THEM. You've got a lot of issues, there's no need to elaborate on that. But the fact that YOU ARE AWARE OF WHAT THEY ARE MEANS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING. You can't just be hyper-aware of yourself & then do absolutely nothing to try and actually improve. Invest your energy into self-improvement.
(excuse #1: you want to, but you're afraid of people's judgments of you *esp ur fam*) GIRL literally no one is looking at what you do & scrutinizing it. Hate to break it to you sista aka self, no one gives a flying fuck what you do. So might as well just do it. Besides, trying to please everyone is a futile venture.
(excuse #2: you can't change a person) GIRL WHAT?? that has got to be the lamest excuse evs alright. You're just saying that shit cause you're too lazy to do shit. OF FUCKING COURSE PEOPLE CHANGE. THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF HUMANITY HOE, learning & changing, constantly learning & changing. seeing, understanding, improving. You're just too much of a coward boo. Throw yourself out there. Stop being ashamed for things you haven't even done yet. Stop nitpicking every single situation and overthinking / dwelling on negative details. Remember that post on instagram that really resonated with you?? STOP BEING SO AFFECTED BY PEOPLE'S OPINIONS HONEY BOO BOO. They literally do. not. matter. You say you don't live to please them, so stop trying to impress them. Side note: STOP INSERTING RANDOM MEN INTO YOUR FANTASIES which you use as a defense mechanism to cope with your lame-ass life. actually put in effort into trying to make your mediocre existence less mediocre (i'd gladly be the first to admit this part is heartbreaking, because early on you had such high hopes for your life & then became overwhelmingly conscious of how far off you are from your expectations.) ~insert Vienna lyrics: You can't be everything you want to be before your time~
Also, can you please, for the love of Christ (that's right, Capital C. I ain't abandoning that part of me yet), get up off your ass?! you. are. wasting. your. damn. time. And you are gonna regret it once school rolls around. Girl i can already feel the regret seeping into my bones. Okay that's it for now don't forget to stay hydrated & do stuff
