Red Spell

Chapter Fifteen

Happy Friday, guys!  

I forgot the ache in my side as I sprinted back through the trees. I didn't dare yell his name with Merric around and it would only have come out as a howl anyway. I was careful to avoid my own footprints in case Merric or Iresia were following them and I noticed there were no footprints for Wolf anywhere. Had he not even made it away from the cottage? Terrible images shot through my mind as I ran. I stopped abruptly just behind a snowdrift and peeked over at the cottage. Merric and Iresia were arguing near the pen.

"You fool!" she hissed. "You useless idiot!" Merric scowled and muttered something too quiet to hear. Iresia slapped him for it and stormed back inside. There was no sign of Wolf anywhere. Was he inside? I could still hear Iresia grumbling to herself. She wouldn't be so upset if she'd caught him, would she? Merric picked up a rock and hurled it against the cottage in a rage. Then he stormed off in the direction of the village. I watched him go and his last yell replayed itself in my mine. He shouted my name. He knew who I was. Even though I was a wolf, he knew. I felt the hair along my spine raise in anger and fear. He had known now, had he known when I was locked in the shed? Had he intended to let me die? I crept away.

I made my way back to the cave, trying to understand Merric's motives and worrying about Wolf. What if he was somewhere in the snow wounded and unable to move? I wove back and forth in hopes of finding him, but there was nothing in the dark. I even ventured a few short barks, but there was no reply. I made up my mind to go to the cave and get some of his furs and keep searching. Perhaps I could drag him back on them or at least help him warm up. If I did have to drag him though, I didn't know how I'd ever get him up the mountain to the cave. Alone it was hard enough.

By the time I made it to the top, I was tired and panting and shocked to see the bright glow of a fire in the cave. I found Wolf sitting by the fire. I barked at him excitedly, making him jump. I backed up hurriedly as soon as I saw that he had no shirt on, feeling my skin, even as a wolf, grow hot with embarrassment. He didn't seem to notice.

"I'm glad you got back all right," he said, pulling a long strip of cloth around his side. It was then that I noticed the long gash across his ribs. His discarded shirt and coat were stained with blood and he looked a bit pale. I sat down slowly as he continued to bandage the gash and I cringed as I watched. He was doing it all wrong and it didn't look like he'd even cleaned the wound before bandaging it up. If only I had hands I could have done it as Mam had taught me.

"Look what I got," he said after a while. He pulled a small bag from behind him and held it up. I perked my ears up eagerly as he poured out small gray pods, still wrapped in leaves.

"You were right, she did have the ingredients," he said. He poured them carefully into a little pile beside the bowls. I came around and instinctively sniffed them and then I stepped back awkwardly. I didn't know what I'd hoped to achieve in smelling of them, but apparently that's what wolves did. He laughed and pealed the leaves off a pod. Then he frowned. His fingers turned white as he squeezed it, but it didn't give at all.

"They're not fresh," he said. "I should've known." He glanced at the spell book. "It says we need to crush them, but we'll have to soak them first so they'll soften."

I nodded and watched as he got some snow and melted it over the fire before dropping the pods in. Then he sat back and watched them anxiously. I felt a little worried too. What if they weren't soft enough by tomorrow night? What if the spell wasn't ready? What if it didn't even work? I lay down on my pile of furs and watched as the pods floated in the bowl. Wolf watched for a while before he picked up the book and began to study it again. I saw him pocket a piece of paper which I guessed was some spell he liked. Goodness knows he deserved more payment than that. He could have the whole book if he wanted.

I fell asleep about a half an hour later and slept badly. In my dreams I could see a wolf running through the forest. The villagers were chasing it and Da and Merric were in the lead with bows raised. The wolf leapt through a clearing with the hunters right behind it. I heard the dull thud of an arrow. I woke up with tears pushing through my closed eyes and I kept them shut to try and ward off wakefulness. I didn't want to wake up and know that it could be my last day; to know that the dream might actually happen the next time the sun set. The tears squeezed through anyway and dampened the furs. I was able to doze off again for a little while, but I was awakened at dawn by Wolf talking quietly.

"You know it was your mam who I really saw first. After her kindness I wanted to see more of her. Sometimes I would creep into the village and watch while she worked and you were often there too. I took care that no one ever saw me again, but I kept coming because I wanted to find some way to repay her. She saved my life. I was starving and alone. If she hadn't fed me and given me the ax I probably wouldn't have made it through that winter. But then, one day I came and she was gone. I didn't know what happened or where she'd gone, but I couldn't bear it. I hadn't been able to repay her and now I never could. I never went back to the village again."

I held my breath. He was talking to me, but if I moved I felt sure he'd stop. I didn't dare because I so desperately wanted to hear more about Mam and no one had ever spoken of her like he was. I was grateful my back was turned because I could hardly keep my eyes closed now.

"It was miserable being alone like that. I had always looked forward to trips to the village, but with those gone I felt the loneliness so much more. I almost went back a thousand times until suddenly you came to me. I was afraid of you at first. You'd come all the way up to my home. What if you found me? You could've lead your clan right to me and I had no idea what they'd do with a child of the wood clan. I stayed hidden and I shamelessly listened. You cried for weeks and talked about your nightmares and I finally understood where your Mam had gone. I cried too. I should have gone out there and talked to you; we wouldn't have been so alone, but I was still afraid," he said, getting quieter and quieter. So he had heard every single thing I said all those years. I didn't mind anymore though.

"I just listened for years. I lived through you in the village, which probably wasn't healthy or normal, but it was the only thing I had to think about. I guess that was selfish, but you felt like family. And...and then you felt like more than family. But I never expected to talk to you. I just listened and wished it was better. I was glad you came so often. I tried to hide my footprints to and from the cave so you'd never be scared away and you never seemed to notice them. I even dared to leave things I found or made in hopes they would make you feel better. You thought your Mam left them, but that was alright with me. And I wanted to make sure you always had a place to sit so I cleaned that rock off whenever it was wet or snowy. I'm not bragging, but I wanted to tell you all of this before tonight. I wanted to say it, even if you aren't hearing me. I wanted to tell you I love you. I would do anything for you and I let you think you could blackmail me with those silly boots. I didn't want to be creepy or anything so I was glad you came up with your own reason. I always believed in you. I won't let anything happen to you tonight. You will be safe and you will live no matter what else happens."