regional at best.

i scream, you scream

song: forest

my brain has given up, white flags are hoisted
i took some food for thought, it might be poisoned
the stomach in my brain throws up onto the page
does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name?

trigger warnings// suicide

a/n: don't make forest fic references. i will destroy you.

☔🎭☔

"Hello?"

"Hi?"

"Hi, uh... We need to talk."

"Okay. What about?"

"I can feel us growing distant. And I've came to the conclusion that, maybe this isn't right for me."

"What do you mean by that....? I didn't know we were growing distant... I thought everything was the same?"

"I mean that... You don't talk to me the same anymore. Its like you've grown distant from me, like talking to me is a chore. Its not real, in a way."

"What? You're not making any sense."

"Yeah, because you don't want to accept the truth. You've been hanging out with other people, its like you forgot my name. You forgot that I'm even here."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you dont, because why should you? You have everything that a decently minded person would want. A girlfriend, a group of friends, an accepting family. You have everything. And me, I have nothing."

"Of course you have something. You have siblings and a family. You have me. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"Wow. You don't know anything, don't you?"

"I don't know.. I thought-"

"You think a lot of things, don't you? You think im doing okay. You think that I'm not alone. You think that everything is going my way, dont you? But, I am lonely. Every time I tried to talk to you, you wouldn't listen. You wouldn't care if I was hurting. Because society had blinded you. While you're hanging around a fire eating smores and talking about who 'got some,' I'm sitting at home staring at the ceiling and wondering where I went wrong, wondering why I feel so alone."

"..."

"That's what I thought. It's hard. Its hard having so much pent up inside that you can't even talk about it anymore. You have so much pain and past, that your entire being radiates agony. And one day, you'll have felt so much that you feel completely numb. Too much loss. Too much sadness."

"Have you told anybody else about how you're feeling? This seems pretty serious."

"No. Because I won't need to."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You don't have to talk about your feelings when you're gone. I only told you because you're the only person I trust, which makes me laugh."

"Wait, where are you going? You're not... No."

"Yeah. Maybe you'll use my death as a lesson, that just because you get new friends, that doesn't mean you forget about your old ones. But, don't worry, I won't blame you. Because after all, youre not the one putting the gun in my hand, now are you?"

"Wait no no, please don't do this. I'll change, I promise. Don't die. Its not worth it."

"You see, it's not that easy. Living, it isn't easy. I'm tired of being left. Im tired of being lied to. I'm tired of having to deal with the same pain everyday with nobody to tell me that it's going to be okay. Because, nobody cares. I don't want to be lonely anymore, and where im going, I won't be lonely."

"You can still get help, this doesn't have to be the way out. Please let me get some help for you."

"Everybody's deaths are planned. We all are going to die, whether that be cancer or wrecks. But, for me, I'm taking control of my own. And if this succeeds, then that means I was meant to die soon. Maybe I'll make real friends where I'm going, maybe it'll be as wonderful as I imagine."

"Hey.. You're not thinking straight. You need help, please let yourself get that. You deserve to live, you really do."

"I know I deserve to live, I just don't want to."

"Please... Please don't do this."

"I won't say goodbye, that's too sudden.. How about... Goodnight. Maybe I'll see you one day, a new time. A new day."

"Wa-"

This call has been ended.

☔🎭☔

down in the forest, we'll sing a chorus
one that everybody knows
hands held higher, we'll be on fire
singing songs that nobody wrote