fine • joshler

1

the tile needed to be cleaned. the white tile was stained filthy. he knew he was only making it worse, he watched a small puddle if blood droplets form as they leaked from his nose. he deserved it. he always deserved it.

he walked to the cabinet under the sink, pulling out the paper towels and near empty cleaner. he plugged his bloody nostril with a tiny piece of paper towel and ruthlessly sprayed the blood droplets. he watched the bubbles of the cleaner turn red and blend with the blood. it was fascinating. up until a year ago he would put pepper in a bowl of water, put dish soap on the tip of his finger, and watch the pepper flee. it was like a monster invading a city and all the citizens fleeing from it.

"that's immature," riley said, "sometimes i cant stand you."

"okay," tyler said.

tyler wiped the cleaner away. immature.
he stood back up and put the paper towels and cleaner on the kitchen table. it was scratched wooden with a matching chair, and one fold out chair. he was hungry.

he had to prepare something which would worsen it. his wait to eat could be anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours. riley went on a run to calm down. he should be in a good mood by the time he gets home. sighing, he took a box of mac n cheese out of the cabinet next to the stove. as he put the pot of water on the stove to heat up, he heard the door open. both relief and dread flooded through him. he could eat as soon as soon as he finished cooking. he wasn't sure if riley was in a good or bad mood.

"hey, baby," he said, walking into the kitchen. good mood.

tyler softly smiled, "hi."

one of riley's arms was behind his back, "i have a surprise for you, an apology."

"you do?" tyler teased, pouring the noodles into the pot.

riley pulled four yellow tulips out from behind his back and handed them over to tyler. a wide smile formed on tyler's face, he quickly closed his mouth though. his bottom row of teeth was showing. those were ugly about him. "my favorite," tyler said quietly.

"see? i listen to you," riley said, "i'm sorry i went off earlier. you were just annoying me while i was unwinding from work and you know i lose my temper sometimes. i promise i'll try to control myself next time."

"it's okay," tyler said. "can you put these in some sort of holder while i finish making dinner?"

riley nodded. they didnt have any vases so he filled a muppets glass with water and put the flowers in that. as he placed it on the table, tyler also placed their dinner down. tyler blushed when riley planted a kiss on his cheek.

they sat down and ate in relative silence, riley in the wooden chair and tyler in the fold out chair. it was always like that at dinner. angry silence, about to explode silence, comfortable silence, tense silence, anxious silence. it was always silent, and they were always in those seats.

tyler was washing the dishes when riley wrapped his arms around him from behind. it was endearing, initially, until rileys hands decided to explore. he didn't like that. he loved riley, he really did, but it never felt right doing that stuff with him.

when tyler felt riley's lips on his neck he knew he had no choice but to comply. it was okay. it would be over before he realized it.

it's fine.