Swasan SS - Elixir

Chapter 1

The flower vendor was still there, where she always dwelled in his memories, in the side of a crooked street in Kolkata, the front of her woody shop blurred in the haze of colorful blossoms just behind the dew drenched front glass panes. The sharp smell of fresh flora that engulfed his memories still fragranced each inch of her shop, her smile still as magnificent as the flowers she sat behind. Only, she was not as youthful as he remembered, the time had aged her as much as it had scarred him.
He had heard many a time ‘that, eyes do not see all; all do not need an eye to see’. Yet, often in his younger days he suspected whether the flower vendor was as blind as she claimed. She certainly knew her way around, could differ one flower from another just by smoothing their petals and most obviously saw right through his mind, deeper than his own mother ever had. In his childhood, the way to his school went past her shop, but in more than one way their paths had crossed. She was always one of the few people he fondly recalled of this city.
After so many years he stood there again unable suppress the urge to pay the oldest of his friends a visit. There was a time when he had firmly closed all the doors that led to this joyous, much brighter part of his life and then a storm, had burst those doors off their hangers and dragged him in to the sunlight once more. He was no longer covering his eyes from the blinding sun or crawling to the shadows away from the light, at the present he could see no reason why he should stay away from the flower vendor, who had foreseen this plight of his a long time ago.
A bell tinkled signaling of his arrival as he stepped in to the slightly crowded shop. Promptly he remembered that the New Year was around the corner, it was the time when people exchanged pleasantries and sweet gifts, and obviously the flower vendor was busy.
As he vividly remembered in his memories the adorable woman sat behind a cluster of red, yellow and white roses, her own rosy face beaming as she handed a young girl a single rose muttering something in her usual cordial, frivolous tone that made the girl blush. She had not yet noticed him. Slowly he approached and extended a hand absentmindedly to stroke the white roses. As if from reflex the woman caught his wrist, her hand as warm as he remembered and smoothed out his palm.
‘Ah, Master Maheshwari. You’ve grown old but your hand remains the same!’ She mused aloud, her twinkling empty gaze fixed upon him. Sanskar could not help the grin that curled his lips as he heard those words, the woman acknowledged his smile with a one of her own.
‘The last time I was here you called me Mr. Maheshwari,’ he said curiously. ‘Why suddenly switch back to the childhood nickname?’
‘Who came here before wasn’t the kid I knew, but you are.’
‘I always doubt your doctor Shai,’ he said clasping her hand in his. ‘How well you can see.’
‘You do, you do,’ the woman nodded in agreement. Then she asked him to wait as she dealt with the rest of the customers and turned to him after bowing the last young man out of her door with his hands filled with daisies.
‘Many come here Master Maheshwari,’ she said resuming their conversation. ‘I’ve heard many love stories, helped and wrote many too, but never had I lived a love story as I have lived yours.’
‘But you were the same to tell me let go of that poisonous love,’ Sanskar stated.
‘And you didn’t,’ said Shai. ‘At least not unless you found elixir…’
‘But you warned me, that if I lived too long with venom I might contaminate elixir as well.’
Shai paled considerably and her eyes turned slightly misty.
‘What happened?’
‘Ah,’ Sanskar gave a distractive laugh. ‘Nothing, nothing at all.’
‘She loves someone else?’
‘No Shai, I don’t love her. You know after Kavita I told you I would never love again.’
‘Master Maheshwari, give that brave face to an enemy. You and I both know this is not a stage where you’re required to act. You can break down if you want to.’
‘She came to heal me, I wound her far worse.’ He started slowly. ‘She had become my bliss when I realized I was her agony.’
Shai laid a calming hand over his shoulder.
‘I wanted to set her free Shai. I wanted to let her go.’ His voice almost choked. ‘But… But destiny has banished her back to me. As empty as I am without her.’
‘Dear, why don’t you start at the beginning?’
‘Beginning, hmm, it is a circle Shai that has no beginning.’
*
From the childhood spent under a widowed grandmother, Swara was a tough child. She was not, the child who would scrape her knees after a silly jump and cry, nor was she the child to stay home with a runny nose. In fact she seldom fell seriously ill and had a habit of hiding her pain so that she would not make an unnecessary fuss out of the poor lady. Considering all that, one could understand why hospitals felt so alien to her.
What she found herself in, as she woke up once more cannot be classified as a hospital completely either. It seemed a cross between an infirmary and a hotel room. She did not even wanted to start guessing how much money her Dida would be spending on her, even thinking that brought painful creases to her forehead.
She had woken up for the second time. First time the doctor had rushed in and given her a sedative even before she had completely realized her surroundings and she dropped back to a less deep and much soothing sleep. Now, she was widely awake.
A nurse helped her with the glass of water, as she sipped some, slowly. Her throat burned as if it had not been moisturized from a long time and her fingers against her glass (She had no need to hold it, still she did) felt numb and cold. Then as she felt her throat ease, she remembered those eyes once more. It was the first thing she saw as she woke up, looking at her as if it was his intention that woke her. Why was he looking at her? Most importantly who was he?
Maybe, Swara’s mind presented a theory; he was in the wrong room. He must have been here to visit some other patient and lost his way. Then why, why was he gazing at her as if she might disappear the moment he blinks? He should have realized she was not the one he was looking for, then why?
The nurse kept the glass of water aside, and smiled slightly at her.
‘Do you need anything else Mrs. Maheshwari?’
The water she just gulped, felt thousand tons heavier and harder to swallow. What did she just call her? She gazed at the nurse, wide eyed. The woman was obviously confusing her to be someone else! She was Swara, Swara Bose, not Maheshwari and of cause not a Mrs.!
‘What did you call me?’ She asked her, gulping the water urgently.
‘Umm,’ said the nurse who clearly confused now. ‘I called you Mrs. Maheshwari,’ she said then and picked up her detail file from the foot of her bed. ‘It says so here.’ She added, as she handed Swara the folder, where on the front cover with urgent writing her name was scribbled.
Mrs. Swara Sanskar Maheshwari
Swara stared at the words, blinking in and out of her focus for a long while. It made no sense, there has to be some mistake.
‘Swara?’ Someone said from the doorway as the nurse backed away, looking up from the puzzling folder cover she saw a very elegant young woman who watched her with a teary expression.
‘Yes?’
As she said the word, the girl broke in to her innocent smile and rushed to her side, quickly throwing her arms around a very confused Swara and beaming with teary eyes.
‘Kanha ji ki kripa hai, you’re alright! I was praying all day and night!’
Swara helped herself out of the girl’s embrace clearly confused now.
‘Who are you? I don’t understand…’
Ragini watched her puzzled.
‘Are you angry with me Swara? For all that I’ve done? You’re my sister in law how could I not pray for you?’
‘Sister in law?’
Ragini blinked at her, her innocent features arranging in to an utter shock.
‘You - you don’t remember?’
‘What I don’t remember? What are you talking about?’
‘Do you remember Sanskar?’
Sanskar? Swara thought to herself and then the name popped up in her mind ‘Swara Sanskar Maheshwari’. She shook her head slowly.
‘Lakshya?’
Again she shook her head.
Ragini said no more, she just stared at her, her eyes slowly brimming with tears.
‘Say something!’ Swara said as she grabbed Ragini’s shoulders. ‘You’re scaring me! Have I really lost my memory? What happened? Why can’t I remember anything? Why can’t I remember you or him?’ She buried her head in her palms as her nerves started to prick, flashes shot against her eyes as if a beginning of a migraine. Ragini stood up at once.
‘Doctor!’ She called out, in a desperate tone.
*
Thump!
Sanskar slammed the file he was reading against the glass topped table. He was trying his best not to yell at the man in front of him, but the thumping of his heart and the veins throbbing against his temple, warned him of the forthcoming temper. He took a long breath and looked at the doctor, successfully masking his frustration.
‘I had clearly asked you, begged you not to let her meet anyone who would confuse her. You yourself had suggested this Doctor, then how can you say that a nurse had a slip of tongue and Ragini visited my wife! Ragini of all people!’
‘That nurse was new on duty Mr. Maheshwari. I’m extremely sorry about her behavior but she had no idea about your wife’s medical condition. And they were not visiting hours; I had no idea I was supposed to keep someone watching over for any possible intruders then.’
Sanskar exhaled deeply as he rubbed his forehead with his index and middle fingers, smoothing away the creases that appeared there.
‘What are we going to do now?’ He said then, in a feeble tone. ‘It’s not like she’ll forget what she heard when she wakes up! I know her, she’ll demand answers! She won’t stop until she gets to the bottom of this!’
The doctor grinned slightly at the way he described his wife and sighed.
‘True. The damage is done. Now we have no choice but to go with the flow, keeping the story she knows intact.’
‘But you said she won’t be able to handle the details just yet,’ pointed out Sanskar.
‘Not the details Mr. Maheshwari. But we’ll have to give her the basic picture. Some ground details, much of which, I take it she already knows. We’ll let her make her own conclusions. That way it would not pressurize her mind much and we won’t change them until she herself remembers the accuracy of her guesses.’
Unable to see much hope still having no other alternative Sanskar nodded slightly.
‘I think you should find someone whom she remembers and explain all this through that person.’ The doctor continued. ‘I repeat this, don’t refuse whatever she asks, just give simple answers to her questions.’
His head still spinning with the action packed day he had, Sanskar came out of the doctor’s cabin, his mind still at the earlier conversation. The last person he wanted to meet in this distressed state was in front of him.
‘Ragini,’ he muttered slowly as she approached, as usual with her teary gaze fixed upon him.
‘Sanskar,’ she said almost choking on her words. ‘Trust me I didn’t know! I heard she regained consciousness and I couldn’t control myself! So I came running here! I didn’t know, that she…’
‘Save it Ragini!’ He snapped. This woman was simply setting his nerves ablaze with frustration. ‘Save it for someone who actually cares! I know you planned this beforehand. You used this opportunity to get in her good books right?’
‘Sanskar, please! I’m not as evil as you think. She is my family too!’
‘Oh no, I can’t even imagine how evil you are!’ Sanskar shook his head. ‘Give that family logic to someone else Ragini. I know you had a hand in this plot, you tried to murder me and ended up hurting her!’
‘Why don’t you believe me?’
‘Because I know you too well.’ Sanskar said brushing past her, irked at the way she was blocking his way. ‘I would have forgiven you for trying to kill me, Swara would most certainly have, but you hurt her. That moment you lost all the chances at forgiveness.’
Ragini watched him take a few more steps away from her, the mask of innocence still in place. Then she blinked and her eyes sparked.
‘And exactly how are you going to explain all that to your wife Sanskar?’
Sanskar stopped and turned around with a slight smile curling his lips, his other features remained as rigid as before.
‘How will you explain my absence after I had confided in her that we are sisters in law? How will you make her believe that I am as evil as you just declared me?’
‘So I was right?’
‘Yes,’ Ragini said after a moment. ‘You were spoiling my game I had to remove you, but then you dear wife decided to grace us with her presence, I had not planned this but it turned out even more splendid than whatever  I imagined!’
Her tone was so sweet as if she was talking to a closer friend about the plans she had for their birthday. But each of her words was coated with lethal venom, Sanskar tasted only too well.
‘I will make myself a permanent attachment to her. You will have to play along, because as the doctor said, she is to make her own conclusions. So,’ she met his gaze with her unyielding one. ‘Sanskar bhai, prepare yourself to take me back to your home. And please, knock some sense in to that dense headed family of yours. This would be the second time I managed to enter their house, after they knocked me out!’
They stood in the deserted corridor, each gaze as venomous as the other, each sizing the other up and preparing them for the battle to come. Watching Sanskar, Ragini felt a thrill of fear ran through her spine. She had never seen this form of his, the one of broken hearted Sanskar was scary to a certain degree, but this one; the Sanskar fighting for his love was chilling. Utterly dangerous!
Looking at Ragini, Sanskar wondered if this is what karma really was. He was the one who gave her the first push in this direction, and now, on a different reality his own weapon stood in front of him, challenging him in to a dual which whether he won or not would strip him of everything he value.
Without another word he turned his heel and left. He would worry over Ragini another day. Tonight, he had to worry about Swara, and Swara only.
*
‘No Ma, never!’ Lakshya yelled as he stood up, Annapurna who was trying to explain him the situation laid a calming hand on his shoulder.
‘No, I’m not going to act as if Ragini and I are a couple. No, never!’
‘Beta,’ Annapurna said slowly. ‘I’m not in favor of this idea either. But, we have to keep Swara safe. We can’t pressurize her as the doctor said. I know you two were going to start everything over, but Beta…she needs your help now.’
‘And she…So she’s not going to divorce Bhai?’ Lakshya asked after a moment. Annapurna shook her head.
‘She doesn’t remember your complicated relationships. She doesn’t know of the pending divorce.’
Lakshya sighed in defeat and nodded slightly as Annapurna left after squeezing his shoulder encouragingly, at the threshold she met Sanskar and briefly smiled at his weary face before leaving.
‘Thanks Lucky,’ Sanskar said awkwardly. ‘For understanding the situation.’
Lakshya gave him a derisive laugh.
‘Are you for real Bhai?’ He asked then. ‘When I know you are the one who is the happiest under this roof at the moment, why would you bother with that expression?’
‘Lucky?’
‘You’re lucky Bhai so much so that she has forgotten she was going to leave you. She has forgotten her true love! You’re another step closer to attaining her now, aren’t you?’
‘Swara,’ Sanskar said almost spitefully. ‘Is in a critical condition and all you think about is competing for her love?’
‘Yes, Bhai! You see I’m not a saint, unlike you, I can’t watch the woman I love with another man, even if it is a matter of life and death!’
Sanskar had enough of his obsession that he grabbed a handful of Lakshya’s collar.
‘You won’t tell her anything that might harm her!’
‘So that you can woo her?’
‘If anything happens to her Lucky, I’ll forget you’re my brother!’
Lakshya watched in to his burning gaze for a moment and then blinked.
‘Then promise me, promise me you’ll keep your distance.’
Sanskar let go of him, and sighed, his face twisted with disgust.
‘You’re a pathetic man!’
‘Promise me, I swear to keep my mouth shut!’
‘Alright! I promise I’ll stay away.’
*
‘When I let her go, I was protecting myself from further hurt Shai,’ Sanskar started again after a pause.
‘But no, fate has more agony in store for me. Now I have to keep her around me, but not go closer to her, not fall in love with her when she would question me why I don’t. I’ll have to go through every painful memory of ours as she recalls them. I’ll have hold that gaze of hers, that deems me the prince of her fairy tale knowing she would soon recall what a monster I’ve been to her. Tell me Shai, from your all seeing eye, how am I going to survive this?’
*