Little blonde

Sad silence...

We all sat on the corner sofa smiling at each other awkwardly, would you blame me for being awkward I'm not a person of emotions and I'm about to loose my mother for 4 months .funnnn!
"Soo... I guess this is it" mom whispers smiling and finishing off her tea.
I don't have to be a genius to know she was sad.
We stood up she hugged me grabbed her bags and walked through the door right after she gave me a kiss and hug goodbye. I walked back sat on the couch and stared at the wall not sure if I should be happy to spend time with my family or sad that my mother is leaving.
Throughout the summer I was up and down from the country house and the apartment. I spent my summer fishing going out on a boat with my great grandfather and my god father. Fed pigeons ,worked around the farm and earned over a hundred euro... if only my mom was here to see that I'm earning money for her and I can help out with the bills..
I carried on reading and writing until I improved noticeably.
Every short phone call I received from mom every few weeks consisted of lies
"I'm doing fine sweety"
"I'll soon have enough money to come and get you...."
Lie after lie after lie.

One evening we sat in our apartment. Godfather ,godmother,grandad ,granny and I . They all seemed on edge and I knew something bad was going down.
After dinner I usually help to clean up but today I was told to sit and wait while my granny godmother and my godfather entered the kitchen and closed the door . A few moments I heard my granny's voice raised then my godmothers and I heard her cry which made me sad. My grandad was still in the room with me he looked at me and smiled and said
"Don't worry,they're just joking"
I nodded. I knew he was lying I wasn't a fool.
My godmother,Rita, came and hugged me, smiled trying to hide that she was crying.
"Don't listen to them they're just idiots"she tried to comfort me which made me even sadder.
"Are they actually going to do this.." my grandfather sighed in agony
"Yeah..but she's just a child and he's not capable of you know... that..." she said angered with tears welling up
The sad silence killed me and all I could do is bury my head in Rita's chest.
We were all sitting in the room again and Rita started crying as soon as she seen them come in.
"I'll do anything for her I'll care for her .i don't care!" She shouted
"Rita you have to think about yourself your going to have your own kids you can't look after her" she said heartlessly which hurt me.
Awkward silence hits again. Everyone scatters again and I'm left sitting there not knowing where I'll be.

The next morning my godparents left abruptly without warning when I woke up I was left 5€ and nothing else. No goodbye nothing.

      *   *   *

I was told only one thing.
"Get dresses nicely your dad is coming over to see you for your birthday "
Yeah it was my 7th birthday.
I got money of my granddad and my dad came around noon, his girlfriend came too . He handed me the bag he was holding and said happy birthday. I thanked him faking a smile. There was a small part of me that was happy someone actually made the effort to visit me. After 10 minutes of small talk my granny cut in and told me to go to another room while she discussed custody. Not her having custody of me... dad having custody.
The next few weeks I stayed with dad in and out of the social department talking to endless amount of social workers and telling them the same thing. Lies after lies after lies
"Yeah I love my dad "
"I'm happy to live with him and her"
"Yes Neringa is lovely "
Lie after lie. Except it's not as if the social workers actually gave a shit. All they cared about was finishing a case and getting paid.

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Hope you enjoyed ...
I cried writing this entire chapter ☹️
Sorry... you don't care 🤷‍♀️😂
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Elvita💋