Nation

Chapter 6- But why?

"Johnny!"

"What?"

"Why would you do this? Did you ever stop to think what I want?"

"No, but I know what's best for you. I know he hits you, and I know he puts himself on a high horse and thinks he has power over you when I know that's not what you want!"

"Maybe I wanted to grow old with him, and I was looking forward to a future with the damn man!"

He scoffed.

"Hardly a man if he hits girls."

"I'm going home for a bit."

I stormed out. What right did the man have to break up with my boyfriend for me?

Remembering that my parents would be at work, I stormed up to my room and put on my Beyoncè playlist. I needed motivation right now.

'We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise you would threaten the man.

Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is most important.

Now, marriage can be a source of joy, love, and mutual support. But, why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage when we don't teach boys the same?

We raise girls to see eachother as competitors. Not for jobs, or accomplishments- which I think can be a good thing- but for the attention of men.

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.

Feminist: A person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.'

That speech made me really reconsider things in life. I let not just men, but the media and other people in general dominate my life. I really shouldn't, and I shouldn't have to change myself and mold myself in the way that other people think I should be.

I noticed a note on my dressing table and so I picked it up and read it.

Dear Kassy,

Your Father and I are off to work, make yourself lunch. We're going to Lisa's later for a big dinner with lots of other families, so wear something nice and be ready for about 6!

love you baby

mum xxx

To say I was looking forward to it was a lie. I was really apprehensive toward seeing Lisa, and the rest of them, who I assumed would be there. I assume that the boys would be there too, so the night shouldn't be too bad.

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I took one last look at myself in the mirror.

I didn't have contact lenses in, didn't have straight hair and had my skin bare. Of course, with the exception of the concealer over my bruises and whatnot.

I had my black, jersey daisy-dress on with a pair of black tights to cover my leg bruises and black ballet-flats. They were all I could walk in at the moment with my ankle on the mend.

I had green earring studs in that matched my eyes exactly, and winged eyeliner with more mascara than I'd care to admit.

My curves were showing.

My hair was curly.

I didn't have contacts in.

My skin was bare (for the most part.)

And I felt really good about myself. I looked like a completely different person and I liked it alot.

"Kassy, are you ready?"

"Yeah!"

I emerged from my room to see my Mum in a pencil skirt and blouse and my Dad in a smart shirt and trousers.

"Oh sweetheart. You look amazing."

Mum clapped her hands together and looked at me with nothing but pride and tears in her eyes.

"Thanks, Mum. You too."

"Right, do you want to go and get Johnny?" Dad asked.

Johnny's parents had just got back off business and were meeting him at Lisa's house so we were taking him.

I skipped off to Johnny's house and knocked on the door.

"Kassy!" He exclaimed, unlocking the door and then emerging.

His mouth hung open in an 'O' shape as he looked me up and down.

"Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies." I gently closed his mouth and took the keys from his hand locking the door as it seemed he wasn't moving. He was wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and black jeans with converse. Yet somehow, he still managed to look smart. He looked great, actually.

"Y-You look amazing."

"Thank you, so do you. Just don't say that in front of Lisa."

He nodded in understanding and we walked silently to Lisa's house, my Mum and Dad walking in front. Lisa's house wasn't far away, and with each step I was getting more and more nervous.

Johnny slipped his hand into mine as it was clearly shaking, and squeezed it in reassurance.

We arrived at Lisa's and stood outside. It was around now that I realised I was still clutching onto Johnny's hand for dear life, and so I let go. I tried my hardest to ignore the hurt look on his face as I did so.

"Ready?" He asked with a smile. I just nodded and we walked to stand behind my parents in the porch, where they knocked.

Seconds later, a small, pudgy woman answered the door. She looked like she should be on The Great British Bake-Off, as she was rosy cheeked and smiley.

"Come in, come in! Lisa is upstairs kids, please make yourselves at home!" I wondered how such a lovely woman could produce such repulsive offspring.

Johnny and I rushed upstairs, and the house was beautiful, I must say. It was all cream and black, and was wonderfully modern.

We enetered Lisa's room to see her, as expected, dressed in the skimpiest outfit I had ever seen. The lads were there too, and they looked really awkward in this room of barely-dressed females.

Lisa stood up and immediately started shoving her tongue down Johhny's throat. He just stood there clearly not enjoying it and I inwardly cringed.

The guys looked at me unknowingly as I sat down with them on a bean bag in the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" Michael asked, looking confusedly at me.

Johnny managed to detatch Lisa from him for afew seconds.

"That's Kassy, you knob." Lisa attacked him again. I felt for the guy, I really did.

The others looked at me greatly confused. Did I really look that different?

"Kass... Your hair. And your eyes. And your skin. And your figure..." Danny fantasized, earning him a slap round the head from Annie, who looked horrified.

"Babe, how can you say that?"

"Well I've never seen her looking like this! What do you expect? She looks beautiful!"

She looked like she was going to cry. I inwardly smirked.

"What about me?"

"Babe you look great."

"Whatever, we're through!" She screamed, and stormed herself into the bathroom. Well that escalated quickly.

"That went well." Will voiced my thoughts.

The rest of the girls all scurried off to the bathroom to comfort her, leaving me alone with the boys. I was totally fine with that.