A Month To Live

A Month To Live - The Thirieth (41)

I didn't sleep.

I didn't expect to sleep yet for some reason I was still surprised that I couldn't even doze off for at least an hour. I pretty much laid there all night listening to the occasional car pass by on the street and staring up at the ceiling.

I had to get up a few times because I thought I was going to be sick. I wasn't though. I ended up sitting on the edge of the bath clutching my stomach and leaning over. My head was pretty much on fire and for the first time I really thought it was over. It didn't last long though. I was back in bed twenty minutes later staring up at the shadows.

At five I gave up and got in the shower. Everything had turned into a 'last'. Even stupid things. Like this would be the last time I showered here. The last time I slept here - although I didn't do much of that last night.

I got dressed and dried my hair. I took as long as possible to get ready because it was still early and I wanted to waste as much time as I could.

At around seven, my phone went off with a new message and I unplugged it and quickly stowed my charger away before unlocking it.

I can't sleep, are you awake?

It was from Bradley. I closed my eyes for a long while before slowly typing out a reply.

I couldn't sleep either.

I dropped my phone back on the side and hung up my towel. Guess I'd leave it here. Didn't want to bring a wet towel with me. I brushed my teeth then and did a last minute check around the bathroom and bedroom in case I missed anything. I saw nothing else and began heaving the suitcases into the hallway but something else caught my eye.

Bradley's shirt was hanging on the radiator still. Dry now. I picked it up hesitantly thinking I should probably return it to him. Or not. I added it to my suitcase and managed to get the front door open.

I'd just finished throwing the bags in the trunk when I turned and saw Tommy standing silently on the path. He had his keys in his hand and he, for once, wasn't smirking or smoking. He had an almost cold look on his face.

'What the fuck?' I yelped, jumping back in surprise. 'What are you doing creeping around like that?'

'Well I was about to go out...' he said slowly, looking from me to the car. 'You're leaving, aren't you?' he said quietly.

'Yeah,' I said, slamming my trunk closed and locking it. No point lying now. He'd soon find out I was gone anyway.

'Does Bradley know you're leaving?'

'He will later today,' I replied. 'Why? You actually starting to care about him?' I sneered.

'I always cared about what happened to him,' Tommy said still in the same serious voice. I frowned.

'I... I don't understand you at all.'

'And you're leaving,' he said slowly, ignoring my comment. 'So you're just going to tell him whatever shit you're hiding and leave him in the dirt?' he asked.

'There's more to it than that,' I said, gritting my teeth.

'What is it then?' he demanded.

'None of your business,' I snapped, stepping closer. 'You tell me nothing so why should I bother telling you?'

'Because this isn't about me or you,' he said, raising his voice slightly. 'This is about Bradley. Don't you think he's been through enough shit without you coming along to fuck up his life some more?'

'Why d'you think I'm leaving?' I shouted, unable to stop myself from shoving him in the chest. He looked taken aback and stepped away from me with a scowl. 'Don't you think I realised already?'