Loving these eyes (just-girly-things)

From the dead again (chapter 6)

JAMILAS POV:

He kissed me. Zayn. I could taste the alcohol and smoke coming from his lips. Why did he do this? Why does he smoke and get drunk? Why did he kiss me?

"Im lurrt" he said slurry.

"Wha-?"

"I kissed you, IG saw dolg tho great!" He said trying to make up a sentence. I couldn't understand him. I'll ask him when he's sober.

I brung zayn home and everyone was asleep on the floor or the couch except Harry he still wasn't back and it was lightening and thundering outside as well as rain. Please be okay Harry.

I dragged him up the stairs and into his room and plopped him down on his bed. I saw him a total mess. A wreck. He was broken. And no one knew why.

"Zayn, honey can you tell me what's wrong?" I asked sweetly like a mother.

"Jehe naked tqix tired" he said closing his eyes slowly. So I started to sing a lullaby:

Even though we all were met to fall

I can never break your wall

I wanted more for you to stay

Then leave me quick and right away

Now go to sleep and let me be

Now finally.

You set me free.

I sang this and zayn started mumbling something. Then he said something very clear and he wanted me to hear it I'm sure of it.

"Doniya. Safaa. Waliyha." He said

"What about them?"

"Fire"

"Fire?"

"Dead" he said with a cold voice and no emotion in his face. What did he mean fire and dead who are those girls?

"Who are they?" I asked

"Nsjsk" he said clearly tired.

"Goodnight"

"Goodbye"

"I'll leave you alone bye" I said and his eyes shot open quick and tears spilled down his cheeks like a waterfall. He wrapped his arms around me and started sobbing into my shoulder. I could see clearly all the tattoos he has on his arm and smell the alcohol and smoke but I didn't mind. I felt his tears falling down onto my neck and shirt. I started rubbing circles in his back and then hugged him holding him close to me.

"Please don't leave me" he said with such sorrow and sadness in his eyes and voice.

"But..." I started saying thinking about Harry.

"Please..." He said sobbing even harder.

"I won't leave. I'm right here. Your not alone anymore. I'm staying and I will always." I said chooing it into his ears making him calm down slightly.

I slowly put my head on Zayns bare chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I laid there and he calmed down. I could tell he was completely broke. He had no clue what he was doing in life anymore. He felt guilty of something.

"Go to sleep I'll stay right here. No need to worry" I said sounding like a big sister.

"Ok" he said and I could here little snores after he said it. I worry about zayn. Why does he drink? What can make him feel so guilty he's on this point? I quickly gasped and checked his wrist pulling up his sleeves. The same. Covered in marks. Forever the marks had stayed there but instead it spelled something. Just like me. I wanted to figure it out but I found myself cutting my arm again but this time it said something again. I put my head on his chest again falling asleep being consumed by the darkness.