The Arranged Boyfriend Project

Day 1 || Stubble Kisses

Ash: Hi, hallo, welcome, bonjour ... [pause] What is it you say in Sweden?

Matti: Hej.

Ash: [Glares at Matti] What? Just 'hey'? Like that?

Matti: Pretty much.

Ash: 'Hey', then. Anyway, some of you may already have seen me lurking around here, making a general dick of myself on my vlog. ThatHoneymoonFiasco? [Nods] That Honeymoon Fiasco. Yeah, if not, you must have been hiding under a rock, or just have better things to do with your life, or something...

Matti: Or have standards.

Ash: Or have ... [chuckles] Cheers, man.

Matti: Viewers are probably less likely to –

Ash: [Whispers] Dick.

Matti: -- know who I am. I don't really have ... er ... a YouTube presence, I guess. I'm Ash's best friend in real life. I'm from a little town in Sweden, if you couldn't tell from the wonky accent. Er ... hey, little known fact about Swedish people: we do actually wear clothes.

Ash: You do?

Matti: [Nodding] Yep. Yep. Absolutely. Winter gets pretty chilly around the ... er ... [points downwards]. The ...

Ash: [Snorts] Right. We get it. Introductions over. I'm Ash, this is Matti, and long and the short of it is we're doing an experiment. Pretty sure ... Pretty sure it's not been done before, but don't quote me on that. I haven't exactly researched any of this. It's like, a ... social, romantic, wait, scrap romantic. Like a social experiment between two people, is what I'm saying. [Looks at Matti] How the hell do I explain this?

Matti: [Shrugs] Just say it as it is, man.

Ash: Er ... [pulls a face]

Matti: Okay, well, what we thought about doing was this experiment, and you can probably tell we've not put much thought into how to conduct it, but we're aiming it at, sorta, two groups of people. First one's the people who get into arranged marriages. They don't know who they're gonna be spending their life with, er ... they have to marry a stranger, fall in love –

Ash: If they do at all.

Matti: Yeah, there's that. Means those two people have gotta be together warts and all, you know? There's no ... I dunno, no test period, I guess?