I haven't forgotten the look in your eyes,
sobbing next to my hospital bed
trying to make sense
of my decision
trying to make sense of me
how could something so obvious
go unnoticed
how long
had I been standing right in front of you
I remember the look on your face
as you ground your teeth
and you said
don't do that again
and please take me with you if you do
in the same breath
I remember the way your hands
your fingers dug into your knees
as you struggled
not to break something
I remember your green blanket
gently placed across my legs
your face stoic
when you first walked in the room
and one second later
your body begging to let go
because you were staring at me
but I hadn't been me in a long time
and maybe now you finally knew
