Paint You Wings

Nine

I open my eyes, but quickly shut them when the light is too much. I know I'm in the hospital. I can smell the cleanliness of it all. Hear the rush, the beeping of my monitor.

And the faint snoring of someone. I open my eyes, taking a second to adjust.

Then I turn my head to the right. No one. I turn my head to the left and get an eyeful of Aaron. His mouth is open, and his eyes are shut into a frown. As he snores his chest moves up and down underneath his red t-shirt. His black hair is sticking up in various places and the stubble on his chin is well over grown. His muscular arms are tightly crossed and his dark blue jeans are wrinkled. His legs are spread out and his ankles are crossed. He's so peaceful.

My eyes burn as I remember what he told me... before... before I attempted suicide.

What is wrong with me? Did I really want to die? No. Of course not. I try and sit up, but the shooting pain in my ribs causes me to collapse back down with a yelp.

Aaron jumps and his bloodshot blue eyes stare at me. He runs a hand through his hair as he sits up, putting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands. He sighs and looks back up to me. "What were you thinking?"

I open my mouth to speak, but he stands up abruptly and leans down. His face is merely an inch from my face.

I stare into his eyes, which are looking back into mine, probably into my soul.

"Do you know what would've happened to me if you died?"

I open my mouth again, but this time I'm cut off by the sensation of his lips against mine.

I sigh in content and tangle my fingers in his overgrown hair. I pull him closer, deepening the kiss as his tongue slips into my mouth.

He moans and then pulls away without warning.

I close my eyes tightly. Too tight, causing spots to appear when I open them again.

I open them just to see Aaron's face showing everything I failed to see before.

Lust, humor, sadness. hopelessness, fear, and love.

"I'm sorry." I choke out.

He laughs, a really bitter laugh. I've never seen or heard him so mad at me. "Sure you are, Belle."

I feel defensive all of a sudden. "I am!"

"Belle, you tried to leave me. Just like that. You were just going to leave. I... I don't know what to say."

"What are you talking about? You left me before suicide even crossed my mind!" Lie.

Realization hits him hard as he collapses into the chair behind him, once again taking up the position of his head in his hands.

I bite my lip. "I'm sorry Aaron, that was uncalled for."

A long silence overtakes us. "No, you're right." Aaron says after a while.

"No, I'm not. I've been having suicidal thoughts since before last night."

"The accident didn't happen last night, Belle. You've been out for four days." He looks up at me. "Well, you'd wake up. But you'd wake up screaming and we couldn't get you to calm down so we had to put you under."

"Oh," Is all I'm able to say, as I look away from his blue eyes.

"I didn't mean it."

I look back at him and raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"When I said goodbye. I didn't mean it. I can't live without you, Belle." He sucks in a sharp breath, like he's on the verge of tears. "I know I slept with Maya. I know I didn't tell you, and it was wrong. I should've told you. I shouldn't of slept with her in the first place. It was irresponsible and... not right. I knew in the back of my mind that it was a mistake. And I'm-"