Paint You Wings

Seven

"Belle, I'm not able to come over today. I have a huge exam tomorrow. I'm sorry babe, I have to study."

I sigh, not bothering to try and hide how disappointed I am. This is the third time this week Aaron and I can't hang out due to his studies.

"It's alright, I understand. I should probably study as well. End of school finals."

He laughs and a chill is sent up my spine. "Excited to graduate in a couple weeks?"

"Yeah, I guess so. It's not the school work I'm trying to escape anymore though, I just can't wait to finally be able to come over whenever I want."

There's a long silence on the other end.

"Aaron?"

"Yeah, sorry. I have to go, love. I'll call you later."

I sigh again, "Okay, bye."

I lay back in my bed as there's a knock at my door.

"Come in." I croak out.

My dad comes in and sits on the edge of my bed. "How goes it, kiddo?"

I sit up and hug my knees to my chest. "Fine," I sigh.

"Cleo and I are going out for dinner, Alice and Melanie are at their dads. Are you going to be okay alone?"

I nod and my dad leaves.

As soon as the door closes I'm in tears, I can't really reach to reason why, but I know I'll feel better if I just keep crying.

I think about my mom. How much I miss her. How much I wish she was still here to help me get through this with Aaron, but then again, if my mom was still here I probably wouldn't be having these problems with Aaron.

I wipe away my tears and stand up, walking over to my dresser, which I've finally folded my clothes into. I pull out some sweatpants and a t-shirt before hopping in the shower and getting changed.

I pull out my textbook and study for History. You could definitely say I was excited to graduate, but as I was explaining to Aaron, I'm not trying to escape school work. That isn't hard for me anymore. I just want to be able to spend all day with the person I love.

Aaron is supposed to graduate before me so maybe that'll open up some time for us to have together.

We haven't seen each other in over a week. I don't know if he's upset with me or mad at me, or maybe he's just plain busy.

I sigh and chew on the end of my pen.

The house is always quiet nowadays. Cleo and my dad usually go out as well as Alice and Melanie, even when they are home they all avoid me. Even Cleo has started giving me the cold shoulder again. I still have to pay the medical bill for my mom and get her body released. I don't have the strength to, nor the money. I couldn't ask my dad for it, he'll just bitch at me. Tell me I should stop being so irresponsible and get a job.

But ever since I was enrolled in Tampa schools, everything's been so hectic. At first I wasn't going because of stress and now my dad wakes me up extra early and makes sure I get to school by dropping me off every morning and picking me up every afternoon.

I can't take it, anymore.

He's so... protective. As soon as he found out Aaron and I slept together, he doesn't allow us in my bedroom, and he always gives Aaron dirty looks. He seems happier that Aaron hasn't been around, but I see the despair in his eyes every time he realizes how lonely I am and how much I'm hurting.

Is it so bad to just want to feel loved?

I lost my mom, for fucks sake. She was the only person I truly cared for. She raised me. My dad was never there. He was cheating with Cleo. I didn't have my brother, not anymore. I don't know where he is. I didn't even find out about him until last year.