insane // joshler

two.

tyler woke up, unable to breathe.

his lungs felt nonexistent, almost as if his body was floating on thin air.
he gasped for oxygen, and slowly, his eyes started to visualize his surroundings.

he heard his mom yelling, telling his father than tyler had woken up.

three nurses rushed in, placing an oxygen mask on tyler's face. he started to calm down has the cold air rushed into his nostrils and he felt his eyes roll back.

his parents stood on the edge of the hospital bed, and maddy stood behind them. they all had a concerned look on their faces, almost as if they were used to driving him to the hospital by now, but shocked at the method he used this time.

"tyler, baby, are you okay?" his mom's soft voice filled his ears as he felt her warm hand slide through his short brown hair.
he nodded, and his parents sighed, relieved. tyler looked down and rested his eyes, closing them slightly.

"i'll leave you to have a talk with your family, tyler. the doctor will be coming in a minute," one of the nurses explained, as she rushed out of the hospital room, closing the door behind her.

tyler felt his heard collapse into his chest. he didn't have the energy to start screaming at his parents for not letting him go. he just didn't care about anything anymore.

"tyler, maddy found yo-"
"i know," tyler harshly interrupted his father. "i just wish you would leave me to fucking die already."

maddy sighed, tears filling her eyes.
"you think we would want that, tyler?" his mother sadly asked. tyler rolled his eyes and stayed silent.

"you need to stop attempting, son, it's really dangerous.. please," his father spoke. "we're so lucky we didn't lose you."

maddy started to cry, so tyler's mom told her to rush to the bathroom and rinse her face.
"i'll just wait outside," maddy confirmed.

tyler felt bad for his sister, and if he was being fully honest, he felt bad for his whole family, too. he didn't want them to suffer, but he wanted to end his own suffering; and he knew that no matter what he did his suffering won't end unless he finally succeeds in taking his own life.

a doctor walks in a few minutes later.
"hello, mr and mrs joseph, glad to see your son is doing better." he smiled at tyler, and tyler managed to let out a short nod.
"you've told me your son has attempted suicide five-"
"six," his mother whispered, looking at the ground uncomfortably. tyler's father comforted her by holding her hand.

"uh, six, times.." the doctor proceeded to look at his checkboard. "he's doing fine, he just needs to have the oxygen mask on for a few more hours and he'll be able to breathe fine soon. we also need to make sure his throat isn't tightened, but we'll perform an x-ray later."

tyler's parents nodded, relieved.
"thank you, doctor," tyler's dad smiled.
"can i have a word with you two alone, please?" the doctor motioned for tyler's parents to step out of the room.
they nodded and walked out.

tyler continued to practice his inhaling and exhaling, curious to know what the doctor called his parents out for.

meanwhile, the doctor started to explain to tyler's parents that tyler was in serious trouble.
"mr and mrs joseph, suicide is a huge deal for us," he started. "i want to make sure your son is okay, because we examined his body and found his wrists cut and bruised. it also looks like one of his knees is sprained and his nose looks broken.. is your son getting bullied?"

"we were aware of the bullying, but we had no idea tyler self-harmed," his father shockingly responded.
the mother looked concerned, agreeing with his words.

they came to a conclusion outside, and his parents stepped into the room as they watched the nurses bandage up tyler's knee. tyler felt restless and exhausted, so he didn't bother asking about what was going on, but he knew something was wrong when he saw the looks on his parents' faces.

he decided to let it go and ask them later.

tyler's eyelids felt heavier than ever, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

—

the next morning, he awoke to find himself alone in the same hospital room, with the lights off. the only light was shone from the morning sun, shining into the dark room. he took of his breathing mask, since he's starting to feel a bit better.

tyler turns to look at his phone that was placed on the bedside table next to him. his parents must have put it there so he could get distracted from spending so much time in the hospital.

the hospital bed was creaky and slightly uncomfortable, so tyler tried to stand up, but there was no use. his knee was starting to hurt him much more and his body felt generally weak and unenergized.

tyler turned his phone on and saw that the time was 7:49am. it was quite early, but he did sleep a lot the day before.

next to his phone was an application paper. tyler curiously switched the lamp on and grabbed it.
mental health hospital for teenagers, tyler read. for distressed teenagers with severe depression.

tyler felt his heart sink into his chest.
his parents' signatures were signed at the bottom of the page.

he was going to a mental hospital.