Sinister Kid

Problems that teenagers face everyday.

Five simple words appear on the digital board and they reveal to us the topic for our next essay.I try to suppress a groan of frustration and I fail.A few heads turn around but I refuse to take my eyes off the high tech (and ridiculously expensive) board.Actually,my eyes may appear glued to this overused-by-all-teachers topic but my mind wanders,as usual.My daydreams consist of ordinary stuff,for example the bed that awaits me back at home.Sleep deprivation has become a constant in my life as have night terrors and anxiety attacks.

"It's all in your head", my parents always say,making unsuccesful attempts to help me.

"You don't have to worry about anything,you're just 17", my older brothers assure me.

I appreciate their efforts.I really do.But their pieces of advice are as helpful as those experts that appear on boring talk shows.Who watches this stuff anyway?Oh right,everyone.Maybe I could include this in my essay: "Today's society lets the media bullshit their way through teenagers' brains".Back to my topic,though.My family doesn't quite get it.They say that everything is in my head,but that's the problem.The things that settle inside your mind are the worst,because they are always there,trying to break you when the opportunity arises.I often picture my anxiety as a little demon,sitting in a dark room somewhere in my brain and everytime I get a little upset over something,it cause chaos and havoc inside of me.

I snap out of my solemn thoughts,not because I decided to suddenly change my philosophical bend and get all optimistic but because the teacher has been handing out blank sheets of paper.One the top left corner I hastily write my name:Alaska Sangreregium.A weird name for a weird person.Then I proceed to write the date on the top right corner.It's October 10th,2060.

Without wasting any more time i start writing furiously.Since this is my last class of the day,if I manage to finish this,I can go home and take a nap.

The essay takes me only 20 minutes.I can't seem to decide whether I wrote really fast or I just wrote nonsense.Those thoughts disappear at the precise moment I am out of the classroom,backpack in my shoulders and my black hoodie in my hands.I gaze at the sky and then a camera at the corner of the bulding catches my eye.There are cameras everywhere,not just here.We are constantly watched,so that it is guaranteed that we behave as nice,obedient,law-abiding civillians.Nobody seems to notice the cameras anymore and if they do they just shrug it off.They're used to it by now.However,I'm not.It's maddening,but I decide to start blaming the government when I get home.Who knows,maybe those cameras can also read thoughts or something and I do not intend to be captured with the charges of being a traitor towards my country and be executed afterwards.So,I just start marching through the schoolyard.It takes me only 10 minutes to arrive at my family's modern flat,a space filled with the latest high-tech gadgets and minimalistic furniture.Quite uninviting at first glance but I have grown used to it.How couldn't I?It's home.

I collapsed on my bed,without bothering to undress.After about 30 minutes of tossing and turning I decide that sleep wouldn't come naturally,so I just had to force it.This is what humans do.We force stuff.The government forces us the cameras and the 24-hour surveillance.The media  forces us to look pretty 24/7 by suggesting crazy hairstyles,surgeries and modifications.It was nice when you still had the freedom to choose if you wanted to alter your body,but nowadays it has become a necessity.I don't get why.Most kids in school have crazy hair colours and weird clothes and a billion tattoos and piercings.I'm not saying it's bad.But when your own parents give you the surgery pamphlet,you know something is wrong with that.It's society's way of telling you that you are not good enough.Thankfully,my family never forced me to do something like that.I just had a black arrow tattooed,going all the way up my left rib.Also,no need to dye my hair.I was a natural redhead,a rare colour indeed.I could have put on contacts,though.My green eyes were ordinary.In fact,I was quite ordinary physically,compared to other girls of my age.Nobody noticed me.But I didn't want to be noticed.

I took a look at the sleeping pill resting on the palm of my hand and without any thought,I took it.I had 1-2 minutes before it lulled me to sleep and then I saw a little note on the kitchen table.My mother's handwriting.

"We're going to visit your grandparents.Your brothers are coming with us,too.I'm sorry we couldn't take you but you had school.See you soon.Take care."

I made a sound of disappointment.I really missed my grandparents.It has been months since I last saw them.My brothers were quite lucky.In the ages of 19 and 22,they are free to do anything they want.They hadn't been to university.They would just take up our parents computer shop.Lucky them.

A yawn escaped my mouth and I knew the pill was effective.I went back to my bedroom tripping on random furniture and lied down,feeling peaceful for the first time that day because everytime I slept,the little demon in my head had to sleep too.

I just wish it would go to sleep one night and never wake up.