A to the fucking N: I am making every character in here a partying stoner. Deal with it. Story time :
"Percy, I swear to FUCKING GOD! IF I CANNOT FIND MY METALLICA SHIRT I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO KILL MYSELF!" Jason yelled, digging in his dresser for his Metallica shirt. It was the only shirt that looked good with his ripped pants, Jason said.
"Calm your tits, amigo!" Perch exclaimed, laying Jason's bed and playing with Panda; Jason's three legged husky.
"Cha, " Annabeth agreed. "Hakuna your tatas."
"Don't have a rack attack," Percy giggled.
"Oh, how about this? Destress your breast?"
"Annabeth, I love you deeply but that was so dumb." Percy scoffed.
"Get fucked!" She hissed back.
"Yeah?" Percy asked aggressively, "well, you can--"
"GUYS I AM HAVING A PANIC ATTACK ABOUT A DATE I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO SINCE BIRTH, MAYBE! HELP!" Jason yelled again, hyperventilating.
"Shit, man, don't have a rack attack," Percy said after a long pause.
Jason took a deep breathe and said very calmly, "Percy, I just might get laid if I can find my Metallica shirt. If you do not shut the fuck up, I will be sure to get man jizz on your favorite pillow. And your Orange is the New Black blanket."
Percy looked simply appalled. "You would dare disrespect Red? A Russian? Those people who use vodka instead of milk?"
"Why is Red and your favorite pillow at Jason's house, babe?" Annabeth asked, smiling like she was confused buy didn't know what she was confused about.
"Bronding." Jason answered. "Its like bonding, but between bros."
"We bond over getting high and crying over failed lesbian relationships and Russians." Percy stated proudly.
"Hey!" Annabeth brightened up. "I do that with Piper, but we watch Rick and Morty. Sometimes Leo is with us. He makes the coolest bongs!"
"Dude, I know!" Jason agreed. "Have you seen the one that is Tommy Chong? Its my favorite!"
"I like the pot leaf pipe." Percy interjected.
"Shut the fuck up, Percy," Annabeth scoffed. "I like his hammer pipe!"
"Fuck you, Annie!" Percy sniffed.
"You do, babe," Annabeth reminded him.
Percy got a dazed look in his eyes. "I know," he finally whispered, looking like he found the meaning of life. Which apparently, Jason thought, is fucking Annabeth.
"Hey losers," said a voice in Jason's door frame, which was now open.
"Piss of, Thalia. I need my M--"
"Metallica shirt, yeah, yeah, " The black haired girl smirked, tossing Jason a crumbled piece of fabric. "I heard you bitching about it in my room. I wore it to Conner's party." Then, with a wink, she flounced out of the room.
"Fucking cunt," Jason muttered. He took off his mickey mouse giving people the bird shirt and put the Metallica one on.
"Ah, vintage," he smiled reminiscently.
"Damn, Jason," Annabeth whistled. "Poor little guy gonna be crushed with all that muscle on to of him."
"What?" He asked, momentarily confused. "There are other way to have gay sex. You didn't know that?"
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We belong together
Fiksi PenggemarJust a one-shot based on an idea off of ifunny. Its a we belong together AU where Jason and Nico are neighbors and their windows are across from each other. Jason follows up on an idea that his best friend, Percy, gave him for trying to win the cute...
