Bits and Pieces

this is for you

Our friends have been intertwined for the past three years. We were friends too, once. All of those digs, those small phrases that constantly undermined me. Can I ask why? What had I ever done to deserve that? It wasn't enough to be considered bullying, and if I ever showed that it upset me, you would tell me to, "learn to take a joke."

My happiness isn't worth your jokes. I realise that now. Now that you cast away a girl who thought you were one of her closest friends. Now that I have friends that I trust, that accept me for me. We live in the same place, see each other five times a week, yet my friendship with a girl who lives in another country is stronger.

What does that say about you? You, the girl who everyone loves because you have charisma, an ability to talk to people. Yet you're also the girl who belittles, who makes sure she gets opportunities before everyone else and if she can't, she will take them. I admire your confidence, your people skills.

But I also admire myself. I admire that I could see that our friendship wasn't healthy, and I walked away before I could hurt anymore. I don't come home in tears anymore, I come home laughing about what my friends and I have done.

I wish I could say I want you to see me prosper without you. It's not a lie, but it's not the truth. I don't care what you think of me anymore, so I'm gonna live my life.

It just so happens that it's going to be without you.