Exist or exit?

O

It's 17:35 and I'm sitting at "The Coffee House" waiting for Alec. He's late.

Which isn't terrible, because it gives me time to think.
I haven't really had anytime for myself lately.
Time to just, think.

I'm already in Grade 11 and I have no clue what I want to do in the future.
The schools putting a lot of pressure on us to make career choices and every time someone asks me: "What job do you see yourself doing after you graduate?"
My mind shuts down. Completely blank.
I'm clueless—I have no idea.

And what about who–"I'm so sorry that I'm late!" Alec interrupts my thoughts.
"But I got you this–" he passes me a pot filled with soil and a baby cactus tucked in at the top.
"Alec, I love it" I giggled like a little girl.

I thought it was cute- different. Normally guys would buy girls roses or tulips on their first date– not really a pot with a tiny cactus in it.

The waitress walks to our table, "You see, I told you he didn't ditch—" I slightly nudge her to stop talking.

Since Alec was late, I made friends with the waitress, Rosie.
She's really nice.
She looks about 22, short hair dyed Silver and dull maroon coloured lipstick. She's gorgeous.

"Oh anyway, what can I get you two? Something to drink?" Rosie asks politely.

"A cappuccino for me please," Alec looks at me, waiting for me to give my order.
"Hazel-nut milkshake please."
"Are you mad, it's freezing outside!"
"What can I say, I'm 'nuts'," Alec raises his eyebrow.
"Sorry, bad joke," I awkwardly turn to Rosie for help.

But instead she takes our menus, not even asking if we might order a meal later or something. Which we won't, but anyway. She's probably new at this.

"So tell me something about yourself, anything you might want to share. Like your hobbies, when your birthday is or your favourite type of music?" Alec asks me, actually looking eager to know those things about me.
Like he's not only asking to be polite.

We spoke for what felt like hours, about anything and everything. He's so funny, I honestly could not stop laughing.

I found out that we have the same taste in music, (alternative and Indie Rock) he plays soccer, his birthday is the 4th of April, he has a younger sister and that he's obsessed with the cereal "fruit-loops" which in fact, so am I.

It's 19:34 and Alec's driving me home. My mom dropped me off, so he insisted that he would drive me back.
He walked me to the door and kissed me on the cheek.
He smells so good.

I walked up the stairs to my room and put on my pj's. I was just about to put my clothes in my washing basket when I saw something sticking out the pocket of the jacket I wore to our date.

It was a napkin from "The Coffee House" and on the napkin it said: " Don't throw me away," with the words "open" with an arrow pointing towards the flap where it was folded.

I opened up the napkin, to find the words written:
"Sorry I was a bit late today
A little longer I wish I could stay
You are my little cactus in a desert of doubt
I guess I'm just hoping that we could go out?"

Wait, what?