A New Chapter

Chapter 15

"Hey Ash!" Sophie plops down beside me at lunch and I subconsciously pull my sleeves lower to hide the scratch marks.

"Hey." I mumble, my voice heavy with sleep, matching the bags under my eyes.

I hear her sigh before turning her attention to someone else. Three more trays bang down onto the table and I glance up to see the three musketeers themselves.

"Hey Ashley!" Sebby enthuses.

I nod in response.

"So, Sophie. I hear you're helping set up Homecoming?" Jake speaks up to break the silence.

Sophie's mood quickly changes into an excited one; "Yeah! It's going so good! We decided on an evening in Paris theme!" She chirps, munching on her salad and waving her plastic fork around.

"Oh yeah? Do you have a date yet?" Wow Jake you're so smooth it hurts. Not.

"Oh- uhm. N-no."

I sneak a glance in her direction and just like I suspected; she's as red as a tomato. Not even her tanned skin can hide it.

"Well, would you consider being my date?" Jake's usual strong demeanour is replaced by a shy one.

"Really?" Sophie squeaks, making me jump and grab my chest.

I tap her shin with my foot and give her a look.

She coughs and recomposes himself; "I mean, sure I-I'd love to."

Jake's face breaks out into a huge grin; "Great!"

"Aweeeeee" Sebastian coos, earning glances from students at nearby tables.

I look over to judge Ethan's reaction only to find him already looking at me with hard eyes. "What?" I mumble.

"Nothing." He grumbles before pushing back his chair with a loud screech and muttering something about seeing the guys later.

"What was that about?" Sophie leans in and whispers.

"Beats me." I grunt and push my chair back to follow Ethan out.

~~

After walking around the school aimlessly for awhile I walk outside for a breath of air and spot Ethan leaning on the hood of his car.

I let out a breath and shove my hands into my pockets, making my way over to him.

"Hey." I breathe out when I reach him.

"What do you want?" He spits.

"Jesus, someone piss in your cereal again?" I let out a light laugh, quoting the first time we met in hope of lightening the mood.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious." He deadpans.

"What's your problem?"

"You." I snaps.

My stomach drops, I don't want to be anyone's problem. "Excuse me?"

"You. You're my problem." He takes a step closer. Stand your ground Ashely.

"W-what are you talking about"

He reaches out and grabs my arm, ripping up my sleeve.

"Ow. Ethan-" He cuts me off; "What are these." He snarls. "Why are you hurting yourself."

"I-I didn't."

"Who did it then?" His voice softens and his eyes scan across my face for answers.

I let out a sigh and look at the ground.

"Who did it." He insists.

"I did."

"But you just said you didn't." His eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"In my sleep. I did it in my sleep." I mumble and rip my hand from his grasp.

"In- in your sleep?"

"Yes. It was a dream, I-I was hurting someone else and I woke up with these." I direct my arm towards him.

"Jesus. Ashely..."

The bell rings from the school, cutting our conversation short.

"I'll talk to you later." I whisper and walk towards the school building.

~~

"So Ashely, it's been awhile." Violet Evans states as I take a seat on the black leather sofa in her awfully familiar office Tuesday evening.

"Yeah, it has." I mutter as I take in my surroundings.

"Well let's get straight into it, shall we?"

I nod mutely in response, I really don't want to be here.

"Your mother informed me about the hospital visit and your relapse with the PTSD. Are your nightmares back?"

I stay silent for a moment before clearing my throat; "yes."

"Are they as bad as before?" She questions, flipping through notes from our old sessions.

"Worse."

"How so?" She quirks an eyebrow.

I let out a sigh and slowly pull up my sleeve to reveal the scratches. "I did this in my sleep. I was hurting him and I woke up with these."

"Right. Any other symptoms?" Violet goes back to my file but adding new notes this time.

"Just the nightmares and flashbacks and I zone in and out of conversations sometimes." I mumble, playing with my fingernails.

"Anxiety?" She questions, nodding her head towards my hands and shaking knee.

I let out a short lived laugh and put a hand on my knee to stop the shaking.

"Well Ashley, I'm afraid that you seem to be back to where we were last year. I want us to go back to our weekly sessions. I'm not going to prescribe any medication just yet but I want you to start a journal again. Write down your flashbacks and nightmares or anything at all. I'll be in contact with your mother to set up our next appointment. Be safe Ashely."

I stand and shake Violet's hand before leaving to find mom in the waiting room.

~~

"How was that?" Mom asks in the car on the way home.

"Fine. She wants me to start another journal."

"Okay, I'll run into town later and get you a nice one." Mom quickly smiles in my direction, before turning back to the road.

"Thanks." I pause before taking a breath; "I'm sorry."

She looks taken aback as she quickly glances back towards me. "Why are you sorry sweetie?"

"I don't want to be a burden to you mom. I just want to be normal." I choke on my words as salty tears make there way down my cheeks.

She gives me a sympathetic smile and pulls over. "Ashley, I want you to listen to me okay? You will never be a burden to me darling. I love you so much and Amelia adores you, you're the best mother that little girl could ever ask for and I'm so insanely proud of you for raising her and keeping up with your education. This is just a bump in the road Ash, but we're going to get through this you, me, Amelia and your friends are here to support you. Don't block out Sophie, she loves you like a sister and wants to help, so let her. I want you to be happy that's my goal in life, so let's get through this together and never ever say you're a burden again. Do you hear me?"

My eyes tear up even more as I look at the incredible woman in front of me and question how I got so lucky. "I love you so much mom. Thank you." I reach over and pull her into a huge embrace.

I can get through this. I just need a little help.