Death Pact ~ Joshler

Fifteen

happy early birthday to josh dun though.
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Josh was alone. Again.

He knew that this was the work of Brendon so in all honestly he wasn't even that angry at Tyler. Well, that's not a hundred percent true: he was mad that the younger boy chose his abusive boyfriend over him but at the same time Josh understood why he did what he did. The younger boy was so vulnerable and desperate for love that he took the first thing that came along and now he was scared to let it go in fear that he would be all alone again. Josh got that, he truthfully did, but what he didn't understand was why he would put up with such a harsh guy.

It was clear that Brendon didn't truly love Tyler, or maybe he did but he had an odd way of showing it. Something was wrong with the older boy, something mentally incorrect but Josh couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Anger issues would be his first guess, abandonment issues the next. And anyway it's not like he's one to judge someone for their mental illnesses but no matter what Brendon dealt with in his past, it doesn't mean that he can take it out on a sweet boy who just wants to be loved.

A gentle knock came from the other side of Josh's bedroom door, pulling him from the dark thoughts that invaded his mind each night.

At first, Josh felt excited, his heart literally skipping a beat when he thought that it could possibly be Tyler. But when the voice spoke, the hopefulness he once felt fleeted just as quickly as it came.

"Josh?" Frank said softly, opening the door and stepping inside. "Do you want to go to the mall with me? I need to get some new shoes. They're having a buy one get one sale so I thought maybe you could get some too."

Josh didn't respond, dark eyes staring blankly at the wall. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Frank, he was very grateful for him being there but... He just wasn't him.

"C'mon, maybe we can get some food on the way back? My treat." Frank offered, walking over and kneeling down next to the bed. He slowly placed a hand on the older boy's shoulder, not wanting to startle him but wanting him to know that he was there in case he wasn't paying attention. "It's been six days."

"No thanks." He replied, his voice quiet and scratchy. Although that's what he gets for screaming and crying every night.

"J, please. You haven't left your room in almost a week."

No reply.

"Have you eaten today?"

No reply.

"I'm going to tell your mother."

"'m not hungry." Was all he said, rolling over to avoid looking at the small emo kid.

Josh felt bad for being so overly dramatic about a guy he's only known for a few weeks. In fact he felt quite selfish that Frank kept coming over day after day (once his "parental house arrest" was lifted), trying to get him out of his bed. He told himself not to get attached from the very beginning but he couldn't help himself. Tyler's chocolate brown eyes and beautiful, warm smile were oh so very inviting that he couldn't help but start to feel like he was falling for him.

Frank sighed, running his fingers through his long, black hair. He grabbed the brown paper bag the he had set by Josh's bed and peeked inside. "You didn't even touch the food I left you yesterday."

"Ate the fries. Thank you for them." Because even though he didn't have much, he was still thankful that Frank cared enough to bring him something to eat. He didn't understand why he was so considered over his wellbeing, he figured that Frank just had a big heart and felt bad for him like he was a sick puppy. And in a sense, he was right, but that wasn't why Frank cared about him.