Jared's Joker

It wasn't her *smut*

(9 months later)

Jared and I hadn't kept in touch. My gig as the stripper was the very last one. I had cut off ties with everyone except David, who continued to update me on the movie and how things were going, per my request.

I also had a feeling he had a thing for me but I just wished and hoped it was just in my head. But why else would he call me and invite me to cast parties? Not like I ever went...at the risk of seeing Jared, of course. 

Things weren't bad between us, just awkward. I felt like i had let my insecurities get the best of me. Why? I don't know. Seeing him out of costume had made me remember who he really was...A successful actor who could never successfully be with a girl. There was always a break up. And though I know that he would never date a girl like me, one who is not an actress or famous, I feel like I'd have my heart broken regardless. Even when I know I shouldn't keep my hopes up.

"Are you sure David? I could totally make it," I talked into the phone as I continued to eat. It was 9 PM, I had barely gotten home from an outing with friends. 

"Yes Liz! Don't you worry, I'll be in touch with you soon enough for the premiere! You're one of the few extra's I want to be there, that OK with you?" He asked.

I almost squealed into the phone out of pure excitement. Out of all the extra work I had done on movies, this was the first time I had been invited at the premiere.

"Really?!" I asked excitedly. I heard him laugh on the other line.

"Of course! You'll walk the carpet with us too. You've definitely got the looks for it! And feel free to bring a date," he said. 

My mind immediately went to Jared. Did I really wanna be there?

"Uh...I don't know," I said hesitantly as I put a piece of broccoli in my mouth.

"Hey, it'll be fun. You can bring a boyfriend or something to keep you company if you want," David said, knowing full well I didn't have a boyfriend.

"It's not that." I said as I closed my eyes in frustration. I couldn't tell David, or anyone for that matter, about Jared. What happened between us would only stay between us. But it had been so long that it didn't matter.

"You know what," I said confidently, "I will make it. Just email me some information and I can be there," I smiled.

"Great! I'll email ya. Have a goodnight gorgeous." And with that, David hung up.

I sighed as I put the phone down.

Great. I really didn't know why I had agreed to it.

Maybe because it's been so long and we really had no beef between us. Maybe we could share a casual hello like I do with the other cast members. 

Why was this such an issue? 

I smirked as I remembered our last 'almost' encounter. We were yet to 'settle the score'. We were so close. So close! I wonder if he felt that way too.

*******

(Jared POV)

"Fuck!" The girl beneath me screamed out as I kept pounding harder into her. I had my eyes closed, feeling her from the inside. It was euphoric. Beautiful. But everytime I opened my eyes, it just wasn't her.

That's why I didn't dare open my eyes til I was completely finished. I couldn't risk it. The girls squeals became louder as my thrusting became more erratic. I was getting close.

I bit my lower lip as I kept my head up towards the ceiling and my eyes closed, imagining it was a certain someone. Liz.

Tonight I missed her more. As the days went on, I missed her more and more. I wanted her. And every time I brought a different model home, I wished wholeheartedly it was Liz as I fucked them.

I tried so fucking hard to pretend like our last little encounter was over with, and I'd try to convince myself with every woman I brought home and fucked but it wasn't the same.

I immediately picked up the pace, trying unsuccessfully once again to pretend it was Liz under me, screaming my name. I went as hard and fast as I could, eyes closed in concentration and to avoid seeing the woman beneath me. Because i know it wasn't Liz.

The excitement wasn't there. I wasn't seduced. With these girls i brought home, I just wanted to fuck. But with Liz...God, i wanted to take my time. 

"Jared!" The girl screamed out as I felt her constrict around my length suddenly. Pulling out in the nick of time, I released my load onto her flat thighs and kept my eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath. Fuck.

I immediately flopped down on the bed trying to keep a distance from the girl and turned away from her, opening my eyes finally. Seeing the wall in front of me, I felt my eyes fill with tears.

I wasn't satisfied. It wasn't her.

It wasn't her.

It never has been with any of these women I brought home.