Storm and Silence Fanfic

Buttons

~14 March 1841~

"Blast you, you stupid buttons." I cry as I attempt to button up my man's shirt. Rick and I are about to head into the office for work, but for some reason, my buttons won't close.

"What's the problem, Mr Linton?" He asks, coming out of the bathroom.

"You don't have to call me that when we're at home!" I shout. I try to get the second button to stay closed, but it keeps popping open.

"Mr Linton...If you can't fit into your clothes, then-"

"I KNOW the deal!" I cry. "BUT I CAN!" I flop down on the bed and try to hold back my tears of frustration. I don't want to stay home. I want to keep working, and being by his side all hours of the day. If I'm home, shut up in the house, then I'll miss out on everything.

"Let me help you." He gently pushes my shaking hands away and tries to do up the buttons. "Mr Linton, you need to lay off the solid chocolate."

I roll my eyes.

"It's not the chocolate, you bastard. It's the baby."

His hands quickly let go of the shirt and he stands up, like he just realized I have a disease. I start to laugh when I think about him "catching a baby" but one look at his face and all the amusement is drained away.

"What's the problem?"

He doesn't answer.

"Rick, don't do this. Talk to me." I get up and wrap my arms around him. He stands there, straight as a rod. "Maybe I can find a bigger shirt, then I can-"

"No. You will stay home now." He pushes me away from him and stands at a distance. "You can no longer act as Mr Linton with the baby, so there is no need for you to come to work anymore."

I know his words are true, and they make sense. Men don't have children, they don't grow fat over night.

But that doesn't mean I want to be left home.

"But I want to come to work. What else am I going to do all day?"

"Women's work, maybe. You could clean, or sew or-"

"You son of a bachelor!" I throw myself at him, ready to punch him in the face, but he easily catches my hands and holds them above my head. With nothing to keep the shirt closed, it opens, revealing my chest, which for some reason, probably from the pregnancy, has grown a bit bigger. Rick's eyes zero in down there and I clear my throat. His eyes reluctantly meet mine. "Let me come into work."

"You can't, Mr Linton-"

"Then I won't be Mr Linton. Why can't I come in as Mrs Ambrose?"

His eyes narrow.

"I thought we went over the fact that a female secretary would-"

"Not to work for you, you dope. Just to..." I can't finish my sentence. He would only make fun of me for wanting to spend time with him, or reject the offer. And I couldn't handle either right now.

He looks at me for a minute before hesitantly letting my hands go. They drop to my side and I turn away from him, too embarrassed to look in his direction. I head over to the wardrobe and pull on a dress my aunt brought over for me a few weeks ago. She told me I would need looser fitting dresses once my stomach got too big. They've been sitting in the back of the wardrobe until now.

I finish struggling with the dress and look at myself in the glass. I hate what I see. I've never been particularly vain--I dress up in men's clothes on a regular basis--but I know ugly when I see it, and it's staring right at me.