Why Love?

Diary Session (Chapter 2)

Dear Diary,
  Today was kind of terrifying. It was the first day of school and I kind of felt like people kept on staring at me. Especially my ex... He hates my guys, though.
  All the girls was staring, too. Am I that ugly? I know I am, but others starting to see it too?
  Okay I see it now when people say that I overthink. They were probably looking at me because I'm new and they're new and they want to make net friends. Orrrrr they're looking at my long sleeves because it's 100 degrees out. I'm surprised my parents haven't notice to be completely honest. You know, their daughter who was in the hospital for trying to commit suicide and is seeing a therapist and on very high anti depressant is wearing log sleeves when it's hotter than hell out. Nothing to worry about. She's totally not cutting, what makes you think that?
  I'm kind of done with this society. When the guys were looking at me, they kept looking at me. Like my body. I know I'm growing and I'm getting things but don't stare, it makes me uncomfortable, which I'm sure it does to most girls. Even one guy winked at me. I cringed.
  Orchestra was fun, though. The teacher is really nice and violin is the best thing in my life. It was always there to play when I was lonely.
  But after school today, I was kind of a mess... I couldn't stop thinking. My mind was king a million miles per hour. I thought about past relationships, and the hospital trick, and dead family members, and depressed family members. But mostly, I thought about a boy. I think his name is Cane. He's not really cute but he's mad funny. When I saw him, I just immediately started a conversation with him. It was as if I'd known him for years. And I don't just talk to people. If you can remember, extend social anxiety is very easy to come to me.
  I think I'm just overthinking again, like I said in the beginning.
  It's 1:30 AM and I have school, so I need to go to bed.
  Night diary. ❤