insane • g.dolan

day 1

day 1

my bags were piled into the van labelled "the dumping ground". i, along with my bags, was piled into the van and strapped in. shortly, i would arrive at my new home ,for goodness knows how long, and introduced to other kids who, like me, were "mentally unstable".

the dumping ground was a mental institute for children, located just on the outskirts of town, and known for curing even the toughest of kids.

i wonder if they could cure me?

i was always told i was a challenge and the only person that could help me was myself. 

but i don't think i wanted to be cured. i want to be like this forever, because inside my head, i believe that i'm stuck like this forever and i guess i've grown to accept it. and that is the reason why i've ended up inside a mental institute, because i refuse to get better.

we pull up outside a pleasant, 20th century looking building, surrounded by acres of garden. my first impression was more positive than i had intended it to be but i was looking forwards to explore what was on the inside.

was it a trap? did it lure young children in and once they got inside, torture them?

a lady came out to greet us and then she waved the van driver off and took my bags inside whilst i followed.

unfamiliar eyes stared as i entered the building

"go back to playing, i'm sure she doesn't want to be greeted by the whole house at once" the lady said

i awkwardly smiled as the lady began to open my folder

"lexi grande" i nodded

"okay hunny, my name is elaine and i'm the one who runs this place. don't hesitate to come and find me if you need something"

"thank you"

"it's okay. now i'll show you to your room and you can get settled in and freshen up a bit before dinner"

i helped to carry some of my luggage up the grand staircase located in the middle of the hallway. there were about 10 rooms down the hallway but not once did we turn into any of them, that was until we reached the end and we came to a stop.

"so that's your room, there" she pointed to the left "and that's graysons" i lifted my eyebrow, curiously

"most people here are younger than you so i thought i'd put you by the only person who is older than you, grayson, so you can make friends or something"

"okay thank you"

"grayson" she banged on the closed bedroom door

when it opened, a muscular yet sleep deprived teen was revealed

"yeah"

"could you come and help lexi move her things in whilst i finish dinner?"

"yeah sure" he smiled lightly

elaine left and grayson and i began to unpack my suitcases

"so how old are you?" he asked

"17, you?" i answered

"17"

we continued to unpack in a comfortable silence, "what's it like?" i asked "being in here?"

"oh, it's alright. apart from the fact that i'm diagnosed with severe depression and think about killing myself 24/7. i've tried but been caught each attempt, by her" he nodded referring to elaine "i mean she's nice enough, but fuck how i wish she'd leave me alone for once in my god damn life so i could end this nightmare they call life"

i stood stunned, in silence

"i'm sorry, that was probably not the best way to be welcomed. it's just that i never really speak much, considering they're basically all little kids in here."

"grayson, it's okay. you know, i've never actually related to someone as i do with you and we only met 5 minutes ago" i let out a suppressed giggle in order to lighten the situation

"oh really?"

"really. i also am severely suicidal. i've only just been released from the hospital because of my nearly successful attempt of suicide. and that's why i'm here. to be "cured".

"well i've heard that one before. i had the hope of being "cured" around 2 years ago but i'm still here so clearly it wasn't very successful."

"what made you like this?" i asked intrigued

"my brother was killed. we were two lighthearted teens but i guess we adventured too hard and as a result i lost my bestfriend"

"i'm so sorry, that must've been awful for you"

"no, it's fine. i'm over the grieving process i guess but it's the way in which it happened that haunts me. how about you? why are you here?"

"it started with my abusive parents and the drugs they were on. and then once they left me in the house one day and never returned, my life came spiralling down."

"i believe in us lex. let's help each other, considering we're the only two "sane" ones in here. don't mind the pun" he chuckled

"i like you already" i stated

"promise me you won't leave me?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows inquisitively

"promise"