insane • g.dolan

day 4

day 4

grayson wasn't in his room this morning which was unusual. usually he would still be in bed by the time i came knocking as i was the early bird around here.

i entered his room anyway knowing that he would most like me, out of anyone else around here, in his room. i saw a piece of scrunched up paper on his bed. intrigued, i picked it up.

i'm breaking;
i can't be fixed.
i'm missing,
but i won't be missed.

still shaking
from what i fear.
i can't let you in,
so don't come near.

i guess you're right;
i'm way too thin,
and i'm fighting a battle
that i'll never win.

i have so many flaws;
i don't know where to start
from my messed up hair
to my messed up heart.

so what's the point
to continue to fight?
when my restless days
turn into restless nights.

this life hasn't been fair.
i can finally tell
that nobody cares,
and it hurts like hell.

i still don't understand
what was God's cause?
why did he put me on earth
with all of my flaws?

was i born just to die?
am i part of a plan?
made to finally see
that i won't die an old man.

i don't know how to live.
i have nothing to gain,
and all i want from you
is to end all my pain.

i'm losing sight
of what i've already seen.
i'm losing my grip,
and i'm barely seventeen.

-grayson dolan

my heart immediately shattered as i took in graysons words. i began to worry as to where grayson was. i had no idea what to even think at this moment. i had just read my friends heartbreaking words and he was no where to be seen.

i ran downstairs in search of elaine.

"elaine, where's grayson?" i shouted, panicked.

"he had to go and tend to some family business outside but he just returned and i think he may be in the garden" she said.

i ran down the steps at the front of the house and straight into the garden. i saw grayson through the rose arch located in the centre of the garden.

"grayson" i shouted.

he turned around towards me and as our eyes met, my knees became weak and my eyes ached. i ran towards him and embraced him like i had embraced no one before.

"i care" i said, sounding desperate.