11 Things I Hate About You

Chapter 1

Of all the hundreds of people I see walking around the halls of Hollywood Arts everyday ... do I see anyone I like? Ever?

Never. I hate everyone. I hate everything.

Wait, why am I even talking to myself?

Forget that I asked that question.

And ... I'm still talking to myself.

Anyways, my name is Dakota Lewis. And as you can see, I hate a lot of things. Considering I used the word things, let me just inform you that I also do hate a lot of people.

I'm a sophomore at Hollywood Arts, and unfortunately, my closest friends--or at least that's what most people refer to them as--are André, Kat, Torie and Robby. Since I'm obviously too lazy to think of more things to say about myself, let me just enumerate my profile video on The Slap. If you don't know what The Slap is, I won't even talk to you.

Alright. My name is Dakota (as I've stated earlier). I'm not gonna tell you my address because if you know my address, there's a 99.999% chance that I want you to find me.

I go to Hollywood Arts High School here in Los Angeles. My favorite teacher is probably Sikowitz. He's not completely right in the head, but the man's a great acting teacher.

I have 2 piercings. One below my eyebrow and the other on my nose. I got both of them about 45 minutes after my mother told me I wasn't allowed to get my face pierced. Sorry mom.

I love acting, I love singing, I love dancing. I have recurring dreams that I really can't tell you about.

I like Mochi ice cream ... I don't like bananas. If you get me seriously angry, I won't get in a fight with you, but I will retaliate in a way that will make you sad for a looong time.

After I graduate, I will become extremely famous. At that point, my plan is to buy a sick house and to build a gigantic fence around it. The fence will be electrified.

I'm a straight-A student, I'm a Christian although I don't go to church that often. I hate sports and I most certainly hate annoying children.

Uh ... what else?

I'm sixteen, I'm smart, I'm deep ... and I am talented.