Sadness and Sunshine

Chapter 5

I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him, trying to keep him warm. As I nuzzled into Frank's neck, I could feel him smiling. I breathed in his scent, wondering what he was wearing since I'd never smelled it before. As I got lost in thought trying to figure it out, he spoke, making me jump and fall off the bed.

"Do you wanna go on an adventure? I need to go get something."

I looked at him and sat up, trying not to put my hand down on him as I pulled myself up.

"What do you mean? I didn't think you were allowed to leave. I don't want you to get hurt walking around."

Frank sighed and shook his head, showing he was attached to an IV but Lorraine had unhooked him from all the monitors. As soothing as the heart monitor could be, I was glad he was well enough to not need it right now. I hugged him, taking the time to familiarize myself with how he felt; I didn't want to lose that.

I was scared to move Frank but I slowly got him up, grabbing his hands and pulling him toward me gently. He steadied himself before slipping his feet into his black house slippers, grabbing my shoulders for extra support. Once he had them on, he grabbed my hand and led me out the door, wheeling his IV stand by his side. He sang a little as he walked, though it was in the strange telepathic way. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I was glad to be up and walking with him for the first time all week.

We walked slowly all the way to the cancer ward. He hadn't been back there through the entire week and he looked around like he'd missed it. I gripped his hand tight, a little afraid to be there. The halls of the cancer ward had a certain smell to them, like chemicals and tears. It was so clean I was afraid to even breathe. Frank led me around the corner and stopped by a room with a closed door. I looked at the room number. 712. As Frank went inside, I stayed and stared at the number for a few extra seconds. My lucky number mixed with my unlucky number. Interesting.

I followed Frank inside to find the room mostly empty, just a bed and a chair, and Frank staring out the window, looking down at the city street below. I joined him and watched the world for a moment, watching the cars go by and people walking on the sidewalk. Frank took a short deep breath and looked at me.

"I miss outside," he said. "Just one more day. We'll go outside together."

Frank's eyes lit up, showing his pure excitement for being out again. It was cold, almost spring but not quite, and I understood his need or want for fresh air. I didn't get out much either those days. I probably hadn't been outside since I met Frank; it was too cold. Now that spring was upon us, I was getting a little excited.

I gripped Frank's hand tight, interlocking my fingers with his. I had a lot of questions, some I couldn't ask yet and others that were too curious for my own good.

"What are we in here for?" I asked him.

Frank just looked down and then back up at the walls, searching for something. He looked confused for a moment but then let go of my hand, seeming to have figured it out.

"This," he said, pulling a book out from under the bed. "And I wanted to say goodbye to this room, once and for all."

He handed me the book and headed for the door, waving goodbye to the room, giggling the whole way. I followed him, clutching the book tightly. With the book in one hand, I grabbed his hand with the other. I didn't want to let him go. As he led me around the halls, he waved goodbye to nurses and other patients. It all kind of became a blur to me and I could only hear slight echoes. Colors just became splotches of light. I let go of Frank's hand and wandered off to the wall and sat on the floor. My mind was blank, there was nothing. I clutched Frank's book to my chest and looked down. I could smell his scent emanating from it. I felt like all time and space had stopped and there was nothing but cold around me, and all I had was this book. I peeked inside and flipped the pages; it was his journal.

Frank's name was on the first page in black ink. His messy cursive handwriting was on every page after that. The familiar scent I'd come to know wafted up toward my nostrils and brought me back to reality. Everything started moving again; sounds came back. I looked up to see Frank looking for me.

"Frank, I'm over here," I called, directing his attention to me.

Frank breathed a soft sigh of relief, showing that he was a little panicked before. He smiled anyway and took my hand again, but let me lead.

"Where to now?" he asked, looking at me with a slight smile, probably still a little freaked out.

"I need to have this prescription filled," I showed him the paper. "I don't want to make you walk all that way though."

I could see the tiredness on Frank's face but I also knew neither of us wanted to be alone, and I needed the medicine. Frank was in the lead again, taking me to the elevator so we could go down to the pharmacy. I'd always been scared of elevators, but my fear was disappearing since Frank was by my side. Somehow he made it all better.