UNDECIDED (Dallas Winston x Reader)

0.5

Cora:

I didn't want to tell him. But it couldn't have been a coincidence that we ran into each other at the same place twice in a row, in the same say. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that everything happens for a reason, good or bad, and we will never know which it is until it is over and we have had a chance to really think about it.

I decided that maybe the universe was trying to tell me something, trying to get me to open up.

So I told him.

"My dad...." I began. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, begging me to let them spill. Instead of letting out the sobs, though, I took a deep breath and continued. "He beats my brother and I. Usually, it's just with his fists, or his feet, but sometimes, when my brother and I make him REALLY mad, like today, he.... takes out his ....."

"He WHAT?" Dallas yelled. "HE FUCKING RAPES YOU?" He looked at me while I laughed, the blue flames in his eyes scalding my skin as I did so. I laughed until my stomach hurt and I was crying.

"No, he doesn't rape me or my brother." I choked out, still laughing.

He looked more angry at me now, rather than my father. "THEN WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE DO?!" He yelled so loudly in my ear that I almost fell out of the tree again, and I clutched my ears when he was finished, no longer laughing. He looked concerned for a mere moment, then switched back to his angry self. I was just slowly taking my hands away from my ears when he screamed again. "WELL?!"

I swung around to look at him, ripping my hands from my ears. "STOP FUCKING SCREAMING AT ME! I GET ENOUGH OF THAT FUCKING SHIT AT HOME!!!" He looked shocked at my outburst, so much so that he hadn't remembered to switch back to emotionless, or even angry. "HE GETS OUT HIS FAVORITE FUCKING KNIVES AND CUTS US WITH THEM! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR BEING SUCH A DICK THAT YOU ARE ALMOST THE EQUIVALENT OF MY GODDAMN FATHER?!?!?!?" 

In my moment of rage, I pushed him backwards so that he swung back on the branch, almost falling off. I gasped, holding my hands to my face, genuinely terrified that I had actually hurt him. That is, until I noticed that his legs were still hooked onto the branch and he was hanging upside down. I grabbed him by the waist, pulling him back up to sit beside me again. As soon as he was upright, I started sobbing, putting my hands on my face and resting my head on my knees as I did so. "I'm sorry," I whispered, so quiet that I wasn't sure if he had heard me. "I'm turning into him. I'm turning into a monster."

He awkwardly pulled me over into an embrace. It was obvious from this action that he was not used to giving or receiving hugs, as he merely tugged me to his chest, stroking my hair hesitantly.

"Am I really that bad?" I whispered once again. I felt him stiffen, and his hand rested on my head, no longer stroking me.

"What do you mean?" He asked, softer than I had expected.

"Am I such a monster that you feel like you have to make me feel better by showing affection towards me that you don't mean?" He sunk down a little, obviously disappointed in me.

He resumed stroking my head, running his fingers through my hair. "You're not a monster," he replied. "You had a moment of rage because I was being insensitive. It's not your fault. You don't know what kind of things I've done in those kinds of moments. Yes, people do call me a monster, but that's only because I can be triggered so easily. I haven't known you long, but I can tell that you're a good person."

"How can you tell?" I muttered.

"I can tell because you immediately felt bad for pushing me. I heard you gasp. You didn't want to hurt me, even if I was being an asshole. Which I was, by the way." I chuckled at that last part. "See?" he said. "You can laugh even at your worst moments."

I nodded; not agreeing with him, but not disagreeing either. We sat in that same position for an hour or so, before I began to get uncomfortable. He seemed to sense it, asking me if I wanted to get down from our perch. I said yes. We climbed down together, him going first, so that he could catch me if I fell. 

He didn't want me to go back home, so he invited me to his place. "Yes, I'll come with you," I replied. "But if you try ANYTHING on me, I'm gonna call the cops and get you arrested for sexual assault."

He chuckled at that. "Doll, I ain't gonna try nothing."

When we finally got to his apartment, he brought me into his living room to watch a movie. He handed me a large bucket of popcorn that we were going to share as soon as I sat down on his sofa.

I had no idea what movie we were going to watch. If I had known, I would never have agreed to watch it. It was a horror movie that I hadn't previously heard of; it was called The Shining. Before you laugh and say, 'How could you NEVER have heard of The Shining?!?!?' keep in mind that I had NEVER been to a movie house IN MY LIFE.

It seemed really nice at first. In fact, I really liked it. That is, up until the point where Jack started trying to murder his family. At the first glance of the knife, I looked away quicker than you could say "run." But when it came to the "Here's Johnny" scene, I wasn't quick enough. I screamed louder than I ever had, even louder than when my father had tortured me, and I threw the popcorn bucket halfway across the room, sending all of the remaining popcorn all over the floor. 

At first, Dally laughed at me.

He laughed at how scared I was.

Then he realized that the horror in my eyes was real; not something that disappears later at night, when you realize that you're safe, and that nothing can hurt you. No, I had never been more scared in my life. And after a brief session of laughing, Dally realized this, too.

He hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care.

I was too horrified by what was going on in the movie. He had forgotten to pause it when I screamed. He quickly turned off the TV.

But it was too late.

I was too scared to realize that he was still hugging me.

Too scared to realize that he was looking into my eyes.

Too scared to realize that he was mercilessly apologizing.

Too scared to realize that he was kissing me.

Yeah, so this chapter is kinda long! I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it!

Again, don't be afraid to comment or tell me what you're thinking of the book! I can always make changes, add on, or create new chapters based on your feedback!

Love,

Eminemily.