Tree months. Tree fucking months since they had exchanged their last words. Since they broke up. Since she told him she wanted to move on. Why? The girl never told him. She just “did’t want this anymore”. The words leaving her mouth tearing his heart into a million pieces. It hurt like being stabbed with a dagger. He did not care showing his weakness, she already knew how much he loved her, how much he cared, how much he needed her. She told Luke that they could stay friends but all he could think was the pain he felt in his chest. He did not want to be friends with her, he just wanted her. He wanted to have her, feel her. That was no longer possible though. She did care of course, she did love him. With all her heart, which belonged to the blond haired boy with those ocean blue eyes. She was just scared, afraid that she loved him way to much for his liking. She was blinded with love and could not see through him, how he felt for her. She thought that Luke would get tired of her someday and leave her. Leave her for someone better and with more confidence. She could not stand the idea of him breaking up with her, so that is why she did it herself.
Luke was now out of her house, waiting for her to open the door. Impatiently he was playing with this lip ring he recently got, wanting to change his looks a little bit. He was nervous and his breathing was unstable, he wanted to see her and talk to her but he was also afraid that she would just act like nothing had happened between them, like everything was perfect. Even though she told him to stay friends, they never saw each other since that night. The night she shattered him. He could not stand it anymore though. He was not able of getting her out of his mind. He tried and tried but nothing came out of it, it was no longer worth trying.
"Luke?" Her soft voice making him turn around and forget whatever he was thinking about. She was standing right in front of him, in his Ramones T-shirt he’d given her and her sweatpants. She seemed quite shorter than the last time he’d seen her. Probably he was the one who got a few inches taller. Her soft brown locks wet. Obviously she’d just had a bath. She was still so small and beautiful but unfortunately not his. He missed her so much. He wanted her back. Back in his dull and boring life. He’d admitted to his self that he could not live without her. Not anymore. He could not stand the pain.
"Hi" he breathed looking at her intensively. His eyes glued on her wide ones trying to steady his breathing. She just looked at him understanding that it was for him as hard as it was for her. His blue orbs still on hers.
"Luke, wha- what are you, um, doing here?" She was struggling to keep calm and talk to him but she was so distracted from looking at him. His now broad shoulders, his new hairstyle, his new piercing, his familiar blue eyes that she loved and missed so much.
"I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore. I-I tried so hard but you’re stuck in my head. It’s been three fucking months for God sake’s and I can’t stop thinking about you." He paused for a moment so he could breathe. She was trying so hard to listen to him and take his words in. She already knew that breaking up with him was a mistake but never did she think that he had not forgotten her by now. "What did I do? Just tell me cause I might be going insane. I don’t know what else to do or think of. I’m just lost without you. You can’t do this to me. Jesus I’m addicted to you and it hurts so much not being able to be with you, near you. The guys think I should visit a doctor or something. Everyone thinks I’m fucked up. And I know I am too. I just- I don’t understand. I can’t."
His eyes by now were glassy and his breath was hitched. It was cold outside, though was dressed in just his Nirvana T-shirt and his black skinny jeans. She was watching him in awe not understanding the reason why he could not move on with his own life. Not that she was capable of doing such thing. She was still so in love with him. Depressed. Lost. But he was always the strong one. The one that never got emotional over things like that. He was Luke. Yet, there he was at her front door pleading and holding his tears back. It was the moment that she regretted every word she’d said to him that day.
