Tainted Blessings • book two

•Nikki~2•

"She was seeing him behind my back, Kathy." I heard his voice say, "After all I've done, I wasn't good enough?"

"She loves you, John." I heard my mother commented, "She really does."

"How can she love me when she couldn't even love herself enough to live?" John commented sadly, "If I would have know I could have helped... I could have stopped her..."

"There's nothing you could have done John..." My mother told him softly.

It was silent for a moment before I heard him sigh.

"You're right." He said softly, "Her heart was with another man anyways... I have to go."

"Where are you going?" My mom asked him.

"Out. Away. Kathy I can't stay here." He told her then sighed, "I don't even think I can look at her anymore... not after this."

"What about after returns to work?" My mom asked, "You're going to have to face her at some point John."

"Kathy, she jumped off the balcony of a hotel." John told her, "Don't get your hopes up for her to ever return to the ring. Hell, I be surprised if she could even walk again. They said Ambrose can barely. I doubt she'll be any better."

"You can't really be giving up on her John." I heard my mother sat in a tone of disbelief, "Have you seen the media? Have you seen the company? They've already given up on her! You can't be doing the same John. Don't tell me you are..."

"I can't do anything that she's already done to herself." John commented softly, "I... I hope she gets better. And I hope she can move forward... but I won't be there when that happens."

The conversation was still fresh in my mind though it had happened a while ago.

I say 'a while' but I was truly unsure of how long it had been. It's definitely been more than a few hours, maybe even more than a few days. I honestly didn't know. I just know that it's been a while.

I couldn't move my mouth. I couldn't move my arms or my legs or my head. I couldn't open my eyes, and I couldn't utter a mumbling word.

But I could hear.

I could hear anything and everything.

I could hear the steady beep of a machine that represented my heart beat, so I knew that I was in a hospital.

I could hear people enter and exit the room. I could hear nurses come to check on me and have small conversations with my mother. I could hear the voices of some of my co-workers that came to visit.

Naomi had came and I believe Jimmy was there too. Paige had came, and she had sat and spoke to me for a while. I also remember hearing the entire McMahon family come. Stephanie, Hunter, Shane, and Mr.McMahon. I head heard all of them. I remember hearing Seth's voice at some point and Roman's as well.

I heard my brother and I had heard his wife. Then of course, I had heard my mother. I heard her often. It seemed as though she never left. I heard her speak, laugh... and when everybody would leave, I would hear her cry. She would cry about me, she would cry about Brie, she would cry about what happened and cry about how she wished she could have prevented it.

But out of all the things I did hear, I never heard Dean's voice.

That scared me beyond my wildest fears.

The only thing I had heard about Dean was the fact that he could barely speak and that was from John's voice. I don't even know how long ago that was. What if he's gotten worse since then? What if he wasn't here at all?

I wasn't really fond at the thought of living anymore, but if you take Dean away from me then I might as well go back on that balcony and try again.

I was honestly more content dying with the man I loved than living a unhappy, regretful life with someone else. I was skeptical at first but then I thought about it.

I didn't have Brie anymore. So she wouldn't be there for me and if I let Dean do that to himself then I wouldn't have had him here either.

So I just agreed. And I thought that was the last of it.

And I was absolutely wrong.

The very moment I could make out the sound of steady beeping, I knew I was alive, even if I didn't feel like I was. I was.

I can't say that I was necessarily happy about that.

Honestly, what kind of person jumps from a 6 story building and lives?

Apparently me.

And hopefully Dean.

But if he somehow didn't...

Someone kill me. Please.