Copnapped

15

The last time Erin's body had been this battered, she was fourteen years old. The familiar sting she felt as she stretched her body out against the bed she was laying in. It wasn't a comfort at all. She turned to face the man who lay perfectly still beside of her, his arm lay across his chest, she watched as it moved up and down slightly from the rhythm of his breaths. She bit down on her lip despite the burning sensation she felt upon doing so. Jay looked so peaceful when he slept she noted, in all the time she's known him, this would be the first time she's seen him so calm and still. It was nice.

She staggered towards the bathroom, drip still attached to her arm. She pushed the drip trolley along with her, careful not to wake the two sleeping men in her room. Voight was snoring softly on the couch, a sound that reminded Erin of the times she came home late as a teen to find him asleep on the sofa waiting for her to make her curfew.

Privacy hadn't been in motion in a while. Being kidnapped granted her none, and now being in the hospital she's been constantly monitored, or babysat by Voight. It was nice to finally be able to have a moment to herself, even if it was only a trip to the bathroom that conjoined her hospital room. She managed to close the door and stare at her own reflection, she gasped at the sight of herself, she looked like a different person, and she felt like one too. She felt dirty and vile, like even the clothes on her body were contaminated in some way. She started pulling and tugging, undressing herself in a panic. Her body matched her face, bruises covered the majority of her torso, her ribs were welted and her breasts were covered in burn marks. She fell to the floor, holding back a scream from the tugging against her drip. Tears erupted down her face, she started wiping them away with the ends of her hair but it wasn't enough to stop the leakage, she gave up, letting them stream down her bruised cheeks. Why was she feeling like this? She wondered everything was over; they're not going to hurt her anymore. So why did she feel so broken? Like her soul was cracking like the bones in Halstead's arm.

"Erin, I know that you've been through a traumatic experience and it's perfectly normal to let yourself heal at your own pace. I don't want you thinking that you have to do anything before you're ready. If two men come into the ER with the same injury chances are they won't heal in the same way. You've got a lot of recovery in your future, and it's up to you how fast or how slow we get there. You're the patient and that means you're the priority as far as I am concerned." Angela Griffin spoke to Erin as though she really meant every word, Erin hadn't exactly loved the idea of having to see a psychiatrist, but Voight had encouraged her to do so. There she sat on a big brown puffy sofa, staring blankly at a woman who didn't seem much older than herself. Angela wore her hair in a braid that fell all the way down her back, Erin had admired the length when she arrived, although she never said anything. It was nice though, having a woman shrink. She spent most of her life around men, and after the way men treated her lately, she was glad to have another woman on her side.

"I know that it's difficult for you to voice your thoughts, and I'm not going to push you to talk to me, with this job I hardly get time to socialise, so how about you listen to me talk for today and when you're ready to talk you can tell me to shut up?" Angela joked, causing Erin to smile sadly.

Jay had just finished showering, he was at a point where he no longer needed assistance while he was in there. He struggled to re-dress himself before deciding to just wander back to his bed in his boxers. He jumped, covering himself when he noticed Voight was waiting for him, "I've seen a man in boxers before." Voight told him, but Jay still didn't feel right about his boss seeing him almost in the nude. He reached over to his bed, pulling the sheet off and wrapping it around himself.

Voight walked over to him, placing a hand on Jay's shoulder gently. "What happened in those basements?" He asked, his eyes cold and unwelcoming. Jay looked up into Voight's eyes, his body filled with the sensation of fear, but he wasn't scared of him.

"Which part?" He asked, rejecting Voight's attempts at intimidation.

"You and Erin seem cosy." Voight said casually, letting go of Jay's shoulder.

Jay shrugged, climbing on his bed, he didn't care who Voight was or what he was trying to find out. He wasn't going to play into his games. "We were tortured together." He snapped when he caught Voight staring at him.

"I know, and I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Jay looked at him cautiously, still not certain where this conversation was heading. "Thanks." He answered softly.

Voight sat himself down just an inch away from touching Jay's feet that were now resting on the end of his bed. He was tempted to move them, but what would be the point? Voight folded his arms across his chest, a habit Jay had noticed a lot recently. "If I find out that something happened between you two..."

Jay shook his head bitterly, "You'll what? Take away the one person Erin feels connected to? I'm the only person who understands what she went through. You don't get it do you? I'm not the bad guy here, I never have been."

Voight stood up without saying a word; he walked himself over to the doorway, turned back and said, "If you don't help her, you're off my team."

Jay stared at the empty doorway long after Voight had disappeared, was that his way of granting him permission? He didn't know, all he cared about was keeping Erin safe.

Erin winced as she pulled the drip out of her hand, she shuddered not wanting to look at where the needle had been. She was sick of being in the hospital, the place which was supposed to make you feel better. Instead all she felt was worse. She wanted to rewind, back to before this all happened. When she could do her job and the good guys always won. She was supposed to be on the good side, so why was she feeling so bad? Her eyes were burning from the excessive amounts of tears she'd shed in the past few days, her whole body was a reminder of everything. She wished they'd have just put a bullet in her brain. But then there was Jay, the man who slept beside her and comforted her when she had a bad dream, her partner, her friend, her rock. She had tried to block out the scene she had made when he first walked into her room. She had screamed, assuming he wasn't real before the shakes started and the sobbing. She had been a mess, and even after all of that, he still came back to see her every day. He would hold her and talk to her even though she wasn't talking back. She felt safer with him than with anybody else. Voight was there for her too, but he would never be able to empathise with her or know what she was feeling, she loved Voight like a father, but he just didn't get it.

When Jay walked into her room, she rushed straight to him, wrapped her skinny arms around his waist and rest her head against his chest, he could only manoeuvre one arm around her, but she didn't give a damn what he did, she just needed to feel him, to have him close to her. She broke away from his chest and looked up at him. He looked worried, she could see it in his beautiful eyes as they met hers. She smiled gently, burying her face into his shirt once more. Jay chuckled, but she knew he wasn't laughing at her. She pressed her lips against his shirt, kissing the fabric gently. He moved their embrace back over to her bed, laid himself down and pulled her into him. She rested her head under his arm pit, one hand draped across his chest, meeting his other hand, the one in the sling, she pressed their fingertips together and closed her eyes. Jay didn't say a word, he didn't have to. This was all she needed right now, all she wanted and he didn't mind one bit.

Antonio had called shotgun, he wasn't in the mood for driving anyway. Olinsky took the wheel. It was still early, and a coffee stop was inevitable. The two men were going to stop at nothing, they were going to take down the gang that took down their detectives. For Erin, for Jay. They were going to take them all down. Parked outside an old warehouse, the two men passed binoculars between them. This was far from over.