Copnapped

21

"My biggest fear is coming home and waiting for Jay and he never comes home." Erin admitted, she felt a shiver run down her spine even though they were in a fully heated room. Her therapist nodded her head as if she knew what Erin was going to say before she even said it. Erin couldn't face her as she spoke, it was still too hard at times to say things out loud. The words she spoke she wished she didn't have to listen. The sounds of her words only increased her sense of fear she had for speaking. It was as if saying things out loud reinforced the truth behind it. She reached over for a tissue and lightly dapped at the corners of her eyes, there were no visible tears but her eyes had already started to water at the suggestion that Jay would one day not survive the job.

Today was triggering for Erin. She had started the morning off at his apartment, watching him get ready for work. It was his very first day back on the field, his cast had been removed and he had been given the all clear. It would be an understatement to say that she was scared on his behalf but he had assured her that he would be fine. She knew he would, but she couldn't help but feel uneasy. She hadn't wanted to let go when he kissed her goodbye, that was their new ritual, something she would never have imagined happening in her life, to be starting every day off kissing her partner? It seemed crazy to her but at the same time, it felt natural. Voight hadn't said a word to her about her new romance which was odd, usually he had a mouthful to say, always having an opinion, she assumed his silence was down to the fact that she'd been through things with Jay that she couldn't explain to any other man. Jay was the one person who understood what she'd been through and she knew that was the only reason why he wasn't fighting it.

"Have you talked to Jay about your fears?"

Erin pondered the question, did he know? She asked herself. She hadn't come out and said it exactly but she assumed he understood why she lingered for so long before finally letting him leave, or how she suggested he wait another week just to make sure his arm was healed. "Not exactly." She admitted finally.

"What's stopping you?"

"What's stopping me is that I know him, if I asked him to stay at a desk he'd do it. Even if it made him miserable, that's how stupid he is." She chuckled.

"Is that so bad?"

Erin shrugged, "I want him to be happy."

"Even if it's dangerous?"

"It's a part of the job, we knew all about the dangers when we signed up."

"Do you think you'll ever go back?"

Erin didn't answer straight away, her mind was flashing back to all the times she'd cuffed the bad guys, all the times she was able to save someone's life. She nodded, "When I'm ready."

Everyone cheered when Halstead arrived at work, this was the first time he'd been in this building without a cast since he had been thrown out of the car. His face wore a smile as he sat down at his desk. Antonio messed up his hair with his hand. "Playing with the big boys again." He teased, scooting back to his own desk.

Jay laughed, "If that's what you're calling yourself these days."

The boys all started teasing each other then, throwing insults around like boys often did. Even Alvin was getting involved reminding them all that he was a cop when they were still wearing diapers. The room was filled with commotion until Kim walked in sporting plain clothes, Ruzek was the first to stop talking.

"Welcome to Intelligence Burgess." He said, shaking her hand awkwardly. Everyone knew about their secret romance, which was why it was a shock to see her upstairs. With the news that Erin had left the unit, they all had bets on who would replace her, nobody saw this coming. Voight had announced the newest member of the team before they went home the night before. Ruzek had been most shocked out of everyone.

"Thanks." She smiled, careful not to linger on her boyfriend for too long. Voight had warned her that if she couldn't work alongside Ruzek professionally she would have to step down and return to uniformed duties.

"It's good to have you here." Antonio called out from the other side of the room.

Jay was still sitting quietly at his own desk, he watched as everyone welcomed Kim Burgess into the unit, but he couldn't help but feel like Erin should be the one walking back into this room. He was just about to whip his phone out to text her when Kim snapped her fingers in front of him trying to catch his attention.

"Hey." He smiled, not wanting her to feel unwelcomed. Kim smiled sweetly in return.

"I just wanted to see if we're cool." She said, and Jay frowned not knowing what she meant by that.

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" He asked.

"Erin was the only girl up here, and now she's not coming back. I didn't want you to feel like I am trying to replace her." Kim started babbling, "and I know that Ruzek and I being involved and being in the same unit probably doesn't seem fair considering you and Erin..."

Jay cut her off, "Kim it's fine. You're a good cop, if you weren't you wouldn't be here. A word of advice, keep your personal life at home. Don't worry about my relationship while you're in here. Just focus on getting the bad guys."

Kim nodded, not sure of how she should act after that response. "Got it." Her ponytail bounced as she spoke, a small smile started peeking out from her lips. "I look forward to working with you," she said, holding her hand out for him to shake.

Jay took her hand and gave it a quick shake. He left his desk and walked swiftly past her, signalling for Ruzek to follow him. Once the two men were alone in the break room Jay began to speak. "I hope you're planning on being professional with your girlfriend working here."

Ruzek clapped his hands together in the way Erin hated. "Absolutely."

"You can start by not checking out her ass, you're already a loose cannon don't let a girl get in the way of your job because if you do and one of us gets killed because of it, you'll be shoved behind a desk faster than you can say, Trudy Platt."

Ruzek nodded, "Got it."

Jay turned to leave but Ruzek called out and stopped him. "Hey look, man, I'm sorry about Erin."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about." Was all Jay said as he left the room.