Find Me A Reason

01. Let Me Die

It was silent. The scary kind of silent. The kind that you can hear your thoughts starting, ending, and being stored away for future use. The kind where you can hear your heart beating, even when you wanted it to stop, and the blood rushing around your body. And it wasn't comfortable. Not when there were four people staring at her, mouths open, minds swirling.

It had been all over the news. Family slain, one survivor. Millar sat in the bed, scowling, her hands tightly wrapped in restraints. This was the last thing she wanted. An intervention. Actually, it was the second to last thing she wanted. The last thing on earth she wanted, was to be alive. And yet, here she was. Living a nightmare.

Her aunt and uncle sat across from her, with a lawyer and a police officer. They were just waiting for her doctor, who would inform them of her many death wishes, and ask them what they would like to do next. The police officer was just here to document her condition, the case was very much still open, and anything and everything Millar said, did or remembered, was very important. So far, she had just cried, asked to die, and given useless information.

She didn't remember much about her killers. Apart from the fact that they ruined her life. She knew they were tall, were wearing black masks, and were very quick and strong. They had snapped her fathers neck first, to show that they meant business. Millar could remember the life dissipating from her father's eyes, until they were nothing but glass and ice.

'Right. Millar, do I have permission to talk to your family about your case, your requests and any further tests or transfers' Doctor Addington shut the door quietly behind him, and waited for the answer he wasn't sure he would get.

'My family is dead' Millar stared at the wall, her voice cold and quiet.

'We are your family Millar, your parents wanted us to look after you if anything happened. We are here to love you'

'My parents are dead. What they want is now jack shit. I don't want you or your living family' Millar refused to see the hurt and rejection in her aunts eyes, the same aunt she had loved for the past 20 years of her life.

Doctor Addington went on to talk to her relatives about her case, and Millar couldn’t care less what he said or didn't say. She just wished she could be 6 feet under with the rest of her family. And she would be soon, if the doctors just left her alone, and unrestrained for long enough. She would pass from this ungodly place of earth and head into the nothingness she was sure lay beyond this.

'Millar has repeatedly tried to take her life, and we have no doubt she will try again if given the chance. If need be, we will have to sedate her and transfer her to the psych ward where she will be help under a 72 hour hold to keep her alive. We need your opinion, and if you have anything to recommend we will willingly listen and try do our best to accommodate your wishes' 

'We want her released into our custody. We have a godly home, and once she gets there she will remember everything he stands for. And he will be able to help her heal' Her uncle, Reggie, spoke. His tone was fact and final, he wanted Millar home where his family could look after her.

Doctor Arlington tried to reason with the couple, showing all the facts and information proving that Millar was unfit to be released from the hospital. Eventually he put his foot down and stated that Millar was a legal adult, and even if she wanted to leave, she wasn't going to be released. And if they had a problem, then the police would be involved. As she was the prime witness after all.

Millar closed her eyes and sunk down into the pathetic pillows, falling into the deep dark that kept calling her name. She remembered everything about her parents, their faces, the tones of their voices, their favourite things to do, everything. It was overwhelming because it was all she could think about.