Simply Purgatory (BOOK 1&2)

Memento Vivere

Chapter 18

"Memento Vivere."

Rochelle Quinn's POV:

A hangover is your body reminding you that you're, in fact, an idiot.

I felt like an angry Russian was stabbing my head countless times with a razor blade.

I dragged myself out of my bed, the thought of how I came home slipped from my mind. I forced myself to get onto my knees, placing my elbows on the bed covers and praying.

"Dear God," I said, my voice sounding like death. "Please cure my hangover and I will promise to never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again."

"Does that ever work?" I groaned and moved until I could see Keegan leaning again my door frame, watching me.

I sent him a small smile, "Sometimes, depends if he's in a good mood or not."

"I didn't know you were religious." His eyebrows furrowed at me as he crossed his arms.

"There's a lot of things that you don't know about me, Keegan Jensen." I hesitated, "How did I get home?"

His eyes darkened at the question, I swallowed nervously. "We found you, Kenzie and I." He says after seeing my confused expression. "You were with...somebody from school. We had to redress you and we brought you home."

My eyebrows furrowed at that. Redress me? I don't even recall a single thing that happened last night.

"I didn't know you had a tattoo. Well, tattoos." He cleared his throat. "You also have a lot of scars Rocky."

I blinked at him, keeping my face blank.

He continued, "It makes us wonder just how much are you hiding?"

"Curiosity killed the cat." I replied vaguely, standing up.

"Why'd you get them tattoos?" He inquired, uncrossing his arms.

"I liked the designs." I shrugged, running my fingers along my forearm.

Another voice chimed in, the strong scent of lime and mint entered my room. "What does the writing mean?"

"'Memento Vivere' is Latin for Remember to live." I bit my lip and smiled as I remembered when I got it.

I was 13 years old and was living in my first group home. It was the worst experience of my life, but I managed to make some good friends. And one of my best friends at the time, Bodhi, wanted a new tattoo so we all went with him to get it. By the time we were finished, all of us had matching tattoos and I had a separate one done.

The saying meant a lot to our group. It reminded me home.

"I've got this one as well." I say, showing them the inside of my middle finger. The diamond had faded considerably but still looked as good as new. " We all did."

"We?" The question was clear in Kenzie's tone.

I almost didn't answer, not really wanting to speak but not really wanting to ignore the people who had such a massive effect on my life.

"Yeah." My eyes diverted to the tattoo. " Ivan, Alec, Jesse and I all got this tattoo done. Sky was too young but he must've gotten it done afterwards because I saw it the other day. Our friends had gotten it done a year prior. They had it done on their wrists so we thought it'd be a good reminder of our experiences together. Lana and I had the inside colored whereas the boys had it empty."

"Interesting." Keegan muttered, skimming his fingers over my new bookcase. "Do you remember what happened last night?"

"We went to a party, it was fun." I shrugged, only remembering flashes of the night. I regretted letting the boys see me that...messed up.

"Slut."

My head shot towards that door, my eyes instantly narrowing at the twins confident postures.

"You took my 16 year old brother to a party and then ditched him for some stup-"

"Shut the fu-freaking hell up, Dickwad. What I do doesn't concern you." I scoffed, flipping him the bird.

"It does when you're going around fucking everything with a pulse. I refuse to have my family associate themselves with a whore." He spat, kissing his teeth. My hands tensed up as I closed them into a fist.

Taking a deep breath, I looked straight at him. I didn't flinch, I didn't hesitate. I just stared right into his cold, cobalt eyes.

"Just because I had sex with somebody, doesn't mean I'm a slut. I'm pretty certain that all of you have done it at least once." Surprisingly, my voice came out completely calm. I took a deep breath, waiting for his response.

"Yeah but we're guys. Guys can't be sluts. We're allowed to do it." Dickwad shrugged his shoulders.

"What and I'm not? Just because I was born with chromosomes to you? I think not. Stop revolving your irrelevant opinions on stupid aspects. The rules aren't different for us. I'll fuck whoever I want to and your stupid beliefs won't change that so shut the fuck up and sit down. You're wasting oxygen."

"She's right, Kace. You can't just call her that when all of you have the player reputations." I nodded at Kenzie, silently but surely thanking him for his input.

"Yeah bu-"

"Kace, I'll fight you and have no regrets so shut up." I silenced him with a glare. He huffed annoyingly and walked out of my room.

"I'm gonna go see Kade." Keegan rubbed his neck anxiously, "See you later, Rock. Kenzie."

I didn't speak straight away but I kept my eyes on Kenzie's relaxed frame. A sudden memory hit me.

"Why did you help me last night? With that guy...?" The question drifted off along with my gaze.

Kenzie's jaw clenched. "I saw him take something out of his pocket. I don't know what it was but it doesn't take an idiot to realise his intentions. He was going t-" He stopped talking, the emotion in his eyes became almost unbearable for me to look at.

"To what? To rape me?" Kenzie flinched. My eyebrows furrowed but I carried on speaking. "Why didn't you let him? You basically hate me." My tone was a monotone, empty, robotic.

Completely unlike me.

"I'm not heartless and I don't hate you." He sounded surprised. He lowered his voice. "You help with the nightmares."

I didn't reply.

"You said you wanted to forget."

I looked up, "What?"

"'I drink to forget' That's what you said to me." He accused softly, his shoulders tensing. "What do you want to forget, Rocky?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, yet it looked more forced than authentic. "I was probably talking a load of shit because I was drunk."

"Don't lie to me, Rae." Kenzie pushed further, I sent him an icy glare.

"Quit it with that stupid nickname!" I fumed, clenching my fists. "Leave it, Kenzie, for crying out loud, just leave it!"

***

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