Toyebox Collection:Bedtime Stories

The Microwave Express

The Microwave Express

The smell of burning wires, the pop of the electrical circuit, and the sparks that followed was a good indication that our microwave had finally died. To Mark though, it was just another minor inconvience that was never his fault.

            Mark was a very successful inventor, bright as the morning sun. Sometimes though, he was involved in his work and could not do the simplest tasks. His victim this time: the microwave. Time of death was six a.m. The cause is still a mystery. Mark thinks his twelve-year old son rewired the outlet in protest against his morning breakfast, a conspiracy to rid the house of the horrible appliances that separate him from his Chocolate Chip pancakes. It could have been, or it could have been the fork that lay black and smoking inside  the microwave.

Mark slowly unplugged the microwave, letting the cord laze about the floor like a dog on a hot summer day. This is the part where he should have reassured everyone that he is okay, or atleast said “I’m sorry”. Instead, Mark looked his wife Cindy straight in the eyes and mumbled something about Sea-Slugs.

His appearance at the breakfast table was brief, only staying long enough to kiss his son before school. After his cup of coffee, he simply trudged down the stairs and went back to work. He was going to fix the microwave. “That would stop the evil appliance conspiracy” He thought as he nimbly pried the back off of the old dinosaur of an appliance.

No one heard from him all night. Sounds filled the quiet house for hours as he worked on the microwave hoping to revive it from its electronic grave. The next morning, Little Johnny came slinking down the stairs ready for his Chocolate Chip pancakes. He was in a great mood, he has been trying to find a way to kill that microwave for months, but never figured out how to make it look like an accident. “Thank you dad” he thought as he turned his attention to the toaster. “you are next my little friend” he threatened as he pulled himself up to the table.

He had barely gotten situated when his crazy father came into the kitchen with the microwave in tow. Mark slammed down the microwave with a loud crash. Cindy screamed a blood-curdling note, holding her chest and puffing for oxygen. Now scared, Mark had the attention of everyone in the room.

A smile as wide as the Mississippi River slowly spread across Marks face as he plugged in his most recent project. To Johnny, this was a normal occurrence, he knew his dad to be a brilliant idiot. Bizarre things happen all the time in this household, but he was not prepared for what happened next.

Mark frantically searched the house. He trashed the living room and moved on to Johnny’s bedroom. Everyone assumed that he had lost his shoes once again and turned their attention back to the awesome breakfast Cindy had made.

He came stampeding across the kitchen with Gurpie, Johnny’s goldfish.

Slam. Beep. Beep. Vrrm. Our mouths dropped in unison as Mark slammed the door on poor Gurpie. He must have planned on a fish fry, because he had entered at least a dozen numbers on the microwave. Poor Gurpie.

“Have you lost your mind?” Cindy frantically tried to free Gurpie from the clutches of the local mad scientist now standing in front of the microwave. Mark didn’t budge one bit, making rescue little more than a dream for Cindy. Everyone watched in horror and waited.

Ding.”Dinner is served!” Mark still had the creepy mad scientist smile across his face as he spoke. Cindy popped open the Microwave awaiting the freak show that lay inside the torture device. When she looked, Gurpie was gone.

Inside was two egg rolls, a fortune cookie, and the bill for an amazing meal at the Emperial Buffet.

            “Somehow I have created a transfer machine, when I punch in the co-ordinates to another country we trade one thing for another. Isn’t it great?”

            “Where did Gurpie go?” worried Johnny. “ To China, where else? Isn’t it amazing Johnny? Gurpie was the first to ever ride the Microwave Express.” Mark spoke a mile a minute explaining every detail of his invention. He was ready for any question, ready for anything at all.

            Well, almost anything at all. “How do we get him back?” The silence filled the room, making everyone uneasy with this whole experience. Mark cleared his throat, making him feel like less of a monster.

            “We um…don’t” That was the best answer he could give his twelve-year-old son and it was tearing him up inside. The next three hours was spent trading back and forth with the Chinese. They traded almost everything they could fit, but still no Gurpie. Finally, Mark gave up and hung his head in shame. After rushing Johnny off to school, a promise was made. A promise that meant by morning Mark would have poor Gurpie back where he belongs.

            As Johnny left the house, he took one last look behind him, sadness filled him as the walk to school pushed him even further away from his beloved pet.

            Like a man on a mission, Mark tried everything within his power to trade back that which never belonged to him in the first place. He even bought things he thought the Chinese would like, hoping the price was right for one lousy goldfish. He looked around his living room at all the magnificent artifacts he has collected. Grand statues adorned his floor, oriental rugs lay unused in the corner. “Any more Asian objects and my house would look like a temple.” He thought.

            Mark had failed, morning came and went and still no Gurpie. A week had passed, then two. All hope was lost. Cindy and Mark had forgotten about Gurpie and promised to buy Johnny a new gold-fish, a better one.

Johnny didn’t want a better one, he wanted Gurpie. He spent every night wishing upon a falling star. “Give me back my beloved Gurpie.” He would close his eyes and dream of the day he would get his pet back.

            Finally, Johnny did get a chance to see Gurpie once more. It happened on a Friday night, during a sleepover. Kyle and Jimmy were lounging on the Sofa eating popcorn and watching a good horror movie. Johnny was in the kitchen trying to dig up the perfect snack for him and his pals. He must of forgotten all about the microwave not working, because he popped the food in and hit the start button.

Two and a half minutes later, the microwave dinged. Something wasn’t quite right though, because Johnny could not smell the wonderful smell he was used to.  Confused and hungry, Johnny pops the door open. There sat Gurpie, his eyes as bright as ever before. Gurpie swam in a circle, splashing water all over Johnny’s face. A note was attached to the fishbowl, Johnny was amazed at what it said.

Thanks for the fish-sticks.

 I couldn’t figure out how to cook this one, so you can have it back.