Faded For Her

Prologue: Set Adrift On Memory's Bliss Of You

In all my years, so many were spent suspended within dreams where my journeys allowed me to scatter myself amongst the vast remnants of knowledge within the Fade. A place I knew so well, where even I could never drink my fill and be sated by its splendor. Yet, even then I had but one goal. An endeavor I was content to reach as the tether to my emotions grew cold. I ruthlessly thrust myself onward at any cost to return my people to their former place in the world and rid it of the blight that was humanity.

Then she came along.

For the first time in centuries, the fortress which encompassed my emotions began to collapse. Unwittingly, she tore it down. Brick by painful brick, it crumbled before disintegrating entirely; embers scattering like ash over the chambers of my heart between the shared breath of one kiss. I feared her spell over me. Yet I knew, if I didn't take the outstretched hand of fate and walk by her side, I would live out my days in a haze of regret that would forever haunt my very existence. My only regret was the foreknowledge, keeping the secret to myself until the bittersweet end that our love was doomed well before it ever began.

Still, I believed that if I could thoroughly gorge myself on her within the time we were gifted, my Lethallan, I could sip each day thereafter from the cup which held those memories and be satisfied.

Sadly, I could not have been more wrong, and it was only then that I realized. She really did change everything. I had never known true love until the day she entered my life, and I will forever mourn within my own reflection as I did the last time I saw it within her eyes.

It used to be that I would dream to walk the Fade for knowledge, peace and a clearer understanding of the world. Now, my only dreams within the Fade are of meadows, where wisps of air trail scents of wildflowers as they dance and sway. It is not the gentle breeze that causes their movements, however. No. It is her singing that drifts aloft on the wind, longingly hushed with the distance by which it's carried.

"Elgara vallas, da'len
Melava somniar
Mala taren aravas
Ara ma'desen melar

Iras ma ghilas, da'len
Ara ma'nedan ashir
Dirthara lothlenan'as
Bal emma mala dir

Tel'enfenim, da'len
Irassal ma ghilas
Ma garas mir renan
Ara ma'athlan vhenas
Ara ma'athlan vhenas"

An Elven lullaby. One I have heard countless times, but until now, had never spared any thought. Then, as it does within every end of that dream, her sorrowful notes begin to fall silent. With them now, a bit of the light within my heart fades away alongside.

Never before has such an obsession defiled anything upon which I was so set. Yet, where I believed that very foundation for which I have always navigated my course could never be swayed, she has become the exception. Her very existence has made me question every action I now take, and I fear this fork in the road may slip me in a new direction for which there is no going back.

My mind drifts, swallowed whole within this sea of uncertainty and blinded by a soul brighter than even the very sun itself. Her soft voice echoes in circles, twining woeful threads around my soul until I am trapped within a cocoon to which I know not if I'll ever break free. Yet still I follow her siren's song, willingly sinking further and further until the ache in my chest, so inescapable, leaches away the very air I breathe. My heart, once so sure and steadfast on the path toward a solitary goal, now instead only feels the pull from the palm upon which it is forever anchored.

My Lavellan, I know you deserve better, for I am The Dread Wolf. Wholly unworthy of your devotion and especially your love, but my words to you have always been, and will forever remain true.

"Ar lath, ma vhenan."

(Song translation:

"Sun sets, little one,
Time to dream
Your mind journeys,
But I will hold you here.

Where will you go, little one
Lost to me in sleep?
Seek truth in a forgotten land
Deep with in your heart.

Never fear, little one,
Wherever you shall go.
Follow my voice--
I will call you home.
I will call you home."

Final sentence translation:

"I love you, My Heart.")