The Saddest Smiles ||Phan||✖️

1

I felt empty inside, drained out. Maybe I was just tired? I constantly try to convince myself that I only felt like this due to lack of sleep. I guess you could say I was tired though, tired of people's bullshit.

I looked up from my class work and met eyes with a stranger. I gave them a smile and they replied with nothing but a glare. My smile remained on my face as I looked away from the deadly look the stranger was giving me. I laughed lightly to myself, wondering whatever I had done to make every being in this school hate me.

The bell rang, disturbing the noisy classroom and signalling the end of an average school day. I proceeded to put away my things and stood up just like every other weekday. I walked out of the classroom and through the school to the pavement across the street from the school and walked home.

My ears perked up as I heard footsteps on the pavement that weren't my own. I stopped automatically, all the other students simply drove home, or carpooled. Nobody dared to walk my route, or walk in general nowadays seeing as it was very hot during spring.

"Hey." A dimpled boy smiled sheepishly. I looked up to meet brown eyes and instinctively smiled back. I observed the brown eyed boy, he was probably taller than me. His hair was similar to mine, only brown and swapped the opposite direction. His clothing consisted of mostly black, and he just looked so... sad.

"Hi." I managed to get out. I rarely talked to anyone out of my family, even with them I didn't speak with much. This guy probably just wants homework, or he's been dared to come talk to me. Either way, I still treat him with the same friendliness as I'd treat anyone else.

"How was your day?" The brown eyed boy asked, as an attempt to initiate small talk I assumed.

"Same as every other day. How was yours?" I asked him in return. I continued to wonder what this boy wanted from me.

"My day was fine, thanks. How's any other day? Good or no?" He asked in genuine interest.

"Boring. Redundant. With no serendipity whatsoever." I sighed, then smiled again.

"Wow that's quite a vocabulary you got there. I myself happen to be quite articulate myself." He grinned. I laughed slightly at his attempt to impress me with such a small word like articulate. I began to walk slowly, not wanting to stand awkwardly.

"I saw you at lunch." He stated, as he walked beside me.

"Oh?" I asked. I normally at a park nearby. Not that I was very outdoor-sy, it was just quite there. I began to panic, maybe that's what he wanted. My rice crispy treats that I packed everyday.

"Yeah. Do you always go there?" He asked, curious once again. I nodded in response, giving Mr. Brown Eyes another shy smile. Darn, I'd have to change my seating if he planned to steal my cereal treat.

"That's nice. Mind if I join you tomorrow?" He asked. I looked at him in surprise, he wanted to sit with me? No he probably wanted my cereal.

"I mean it's okay if not. I'm sorry I asked, you probably prefer being alone. Which is perfectly understandable..." he continued to ramble nervously.

I looked back at my house, seeing as we had already passed it. I didn't really want to end the conversation already so I tried to ignore my house and answered without much thought. "I wouldn't mind at all if you sat with me, Mr. Brown Eyes."

"Really? That's grea- Mr. Brown Eyes?" He asked, I quickly turned to see his face as he was sustaining a laugh, causing me cheeks to redden. He calmed himself down a bit before speaking, "Did you just call me Mr. Brown Eyes?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. I don't know your name, you never cared to introduce yourself." I explained to him in embarrassment.

"I'm Howell. Dan, Howell." He said in a serious tone, mimicking James Bond, causing me to laugh a bit.

"I'm Phil." I introduced, he smiled his dimpled smile at me once more. "My house is over there," I pointed behind us,"so I should get going now. See you tomorrow, I guess, Howell Dan Howell."

He laughed, a beautiful sound, and nodded, "Yeah. See you tomorrow."

I turned around and walked up to my house fairly quickly, making sure not to disturb the silence as I opened the door an made my way to my very much missed bedroom. I decided to put off doing my homework right away, feeling it was better to worry about it later. I began to play some mario kart instead, because clearly mario kart was very important and I'd definitely need it to survive in the adult world, unlike all the crap at school.

It wasn't long before I heard my mum start to yell at my dad about chores and responsibilities around the house. I ignored it and decided to put on my headphones, blasting some MCR which I couldn't wait to go see live in a month.

At exactly seven o'clock I made my have downstairs for dinner. It was quite as usual, just like the rest of my day. That is until my mum began to speak with me, interrupting the silence in the room of three.

"Phil, I saw you walking with a boy earlier, have you finally made a friend? When will you invite him over for us to meet?" My mum asked quickly in excitement, due to the fact that she had seen me speaking with another human.

"I just met him today mom." I answered her quietly.

I saw her sink down on her chair in disappointment, "Well you'll continue  talking to the young man right?"

I shrugged, I knew she was just worried for me. It's not like I purposely didn't have friends, just that people didn't want to be friends with someone like me. I heard a soft sigh from my mum.

"I'll continue talking to him mum." I promised, in hopes to cheer her up. I'd just hope that I'd be able to keep my promise, seeing as in the boy most likely just wanted my cereal.

My mum smiled faintly and nodded. I finished up my food and washed my plate, not really wanting to stay downstairs.

I made my way up to my room again , pondering on the idea that time was going too fast. A minute felt like a second, and hour like a minute. And so forth.

What was I going to do with my life? How could I do anything if there just wasn't time? I laid down on my cold bed and checked my phone. Ignoring the nagging in my head that was telling me to do my homework.

Usually the only notifications I'd get were from games or if blogs I followed on tumblr posted something. I was surprised to find a message notification. Then two, three. I opened them immediately.

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Note
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Gee thanks for reading this bs. Um I hope it's not too bad, I know there's room for improvement so if you can just give me some constructive criticism that'd be great.

-Ronnie