ONCe UPoN A TiMe......IN THe PReSeNT 2: THe NeW JoKe

Chapter 30: THe IT

Gunther dies, once again, Dieter escapes, crazed Wonder Woman enters the building along with Task Force X, and the it is released.

(Task Force X enters a room on the way to Dieter's office to see Wonder Woman in there.)
Hellboy: Shhhhhhh. Wonder Woman is in here.
Deadpool: Let me see what her problem is.
Mulder: I don't think that would be wise.
Deadpool: Why, I'm her friend.
Wolverine: You're the annoying friend.
Deadpool: I'm still her friend.
Scully: Aren't you the mouthy one?
Deadpool: So?
Scully: So? She needs comfort. I think it should be from someone that's not annoying.
Deadpool: Screw you. I'm going over there. (Walks towards Wonder Woman.) Hey, Diana, what's wrong? (Wonder Woman turns her head to show that she has been crying.) Do you miss the creepy bat that gave Dracula nightmares?
Wonder Woman: Stay away from me, all of you!
Deadpool: It's ok, I think you just need a hug. (Wonder Woman grabs Deadpool, lifts him up, and rips his head, along with his spinal core still connected to his head, and his spine still connected to his body, and then throws him aside.)
Wolverine: THE FUCK?!!
(Wonder Woman flings Wolverine to a wall.)
Deadshot: Could things get any worse?!
(A chamber door flings open, knocking Wonder Woman off the scene. The it walks out.)
Hellboy: What is that?!
(The it reveals itself as a big, muscular man that looks dead, with a sack over his head, nails in his head, and wears a black vinal apron, and holds a giant hammer up.)
Intercom: This monster, is strong, and holds the life he used to have.
Scully: Who are you?
Intercom: I am Dieter Armin Hellstrom. As I was saying, this monster was brought back to life.
Mulder: You mean, he's, dead?
Intercom: Yes, you could say that. Meet the it, or what Umbrella Corporation calls, the Executioner Majini.
Scully: No offense, but isn't resurrecting a dead guy scientifically impossible?
Hellboy: Clearly not, if this weird monster is alive.
Intercom: By the ways, Mr. Wesker gave me this thing as a gift from him and Mrs. Wesker. Isn't that sweet?
Hellboy: NO!! It's not! Now let us out you SICK SON OF A BITCH!!
Intercom: You could escape any time you want, oh wait, no you can't. (All of the doors seal shut.) Escape this one! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Scully: Mulder, are we going to die?
Deadpool: (In the background.) YEP!!
Mulder: What the Rock 'em Stock 'em Robot said.
Deadpool: I heard that!
(The Executioner Majini swings it's hammer at Scully and Mulder, so Scully and Mulder duck, and Deadshot shoots his automatic rifle at the Executioner's head, he hits it in the head, and then the Executioner turns to Deadshot and walks towards him.)
Mulder: I have a plan! On my count, everyone shoot this leatherface wannabe zombie in the head. 1...(Everyone pulls out their guns.)...2...(They all point their gun at the monster.)...3!!
(Hellboy shoots it with his zap gun, and the monster turns to ashes.)
Mulder: Hellboy, why didn't you just shoot the monster?
Hellboy: You didn't ask me to.
Mulder: Ok. Is everyone ok, besides the Rock 'em Stock 'em robot?
Deadpool: (Background.) Please stop calling me that.
(All of the doors open.)
Mulder: Let's move out!
(All walk out of the room down a dark hallway towards Hellstrom's office.)
Deadpool: Are you just leaving me?
Hellboy: (Throws his zap gun at Deadpool, Deadpool catches the gun.) Use this to zap your enemies.
Deadpool: I'll TRY to shoot, seeing my sticky situation here I probably can't. Then again, I am Deadpool.
Mulder: (To Hellboy.) I stopped listening to him, what did he say.
Hellboy: I don't know, he probably just bitched about his head and spine sticking out of his body. Wait a minute, I thought if he was decapitated, he would die, but then again, the spine is 1 of the most important parts, and his head is still connected.
Harley: You just confused me.
Hellboy: I confused myself. Agent Mulder, how is that possible?
Mulder: Sorry, I wouldn't know, but Agent Scully might, since she's a doctor. (Scully gives Mulder a dirty look.)
Hellboy: Ok, Agent Scully, what would you-
Scully: Shhhhh! Do you hear that?
Hellboy: Head what?
Scully: Exactly, that's what I want to hear!
Deadshot: Come on guys! We're almost done with our mission!
Hellboy: What do. you have to do that's so DAMN important, go back in your cell?
Mulder: Guys! Let's just finish this one little mission!
(All walk to the doors to the office. They enter the office to see 20 zombies in the room. It's not even Dieter's Office.)
Hellboy: Shit!
Deadshot: Me and Harley got this under control!
Harley: Why me?
Deadshot: You guys go!
Hellboy: I'm not going, besides, this looks a little fun!
Mulder: You sure?
Deadshot: Yes.
Mulder: Ok, Scully let's go, and everyone, don't get bitten!
Deadshot: You got it!
Harley: Not cool, Deadshot! Suggesting me!
(Mulder and Scully run to Dieter's Office up ahead, they shoot 3 zombies on the way. They make it to the door and kick open the door. They walk in, when suddenly, someone puts a gun to Mulder's head.)
?: Throw your weapons to the front.
(Mulder and Scully throw their weapons to the front of them on the floor.)
Mulder: Who are you?
(The person walks in front of them, still pointing the gun at the 2 of them, and reveals himself as Damian Wayne.)
Damian: I'm Damian Wayne, son of Bruce Wayne...........................................