Save Amy

•The call back home•3

--Texts--
Shugaa beaw
Amy 3:20
Amy 3:20
Amy 3:20

Yes shugaaa 3:21

FaceTime when u get home I need to tell you something! 3:22

Oooh okay 3:22

How's the new school? 3:23

I'll tell you at home 3:24

Are u driving home. Are u safe? 3:24

I'm the car and yes I'm safe 3:25

At that point I shut off my phone. Erika worries about me a lot. I've had a past with my body. I don't like to admit it often but I was anemic from the lack of iron, I was potassium deficient, and hopeless. Erika cares because I'm crazy. I know I am. I've had thoughts but I don't always follow through.
Oh my lord I look sickening. Shhh don't say it out loud. Ugly. Your still fat.
I needed to be saved from myself and the only person I ever told was Erika. She helped me through it. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve her. I still have some thoughts and I can't always escape them but I've never actually done anything to harm myself...yet.
There's always a silence after yet. I'm healthy now still recovering but that never means I'm safe. By safe Erika means if I did anything stupid to myself and I hadn't.
As mean as it is to say it...but Erika worries about me because she used to be me. She was never safe from herself. I once felt the fresh cut lines she created on her skin. They were bumpy and red. I hugged her and cried. I failed her and she doesn't want to fail me.
*you okay pumpkin?* he looked at me in concern. *yeah yeah* I cleared my throat and smiled. My dad could never read me or my signs. Sometimes I was grateful and sometimes I wanted him to help.
*let me carry your bag*. I wasn't gonna resist. *thank you* I unbuckled my seat belt and walked inside. Mom was at work while my dad spent most of his hours in his office since he had a home job.
Mom was a nurse.
Dad was a business man.
Both made good money and I'm grateful for that.
I rushed upstairs I opened my phone and FaceTimed shugaaaa.
*AAAAAAH ERIKA HOW ARE YOU SHUGA*
*Doing fine mate* here we go again with the British accents.
Speaking to her made everything go away.
*I miss you Amy*
*I miss you too Erika*
Before she started to tear I told her about the red head who decided to yell at me.
*Oh my god your an idiot you don't mess with those kind of people let alone LAUGH AT HER Amy I can't see you die. YOU WERE TOO YOUNG*
* well I'm already dead the grave is dug only one thing left to do. Jump in*
*amy you do realize that if you actually step into that grave I would join you*
*Really?*
*Nope I love myself too much. Well looks like I have a dead best friend good bye have fun in hell*
*HEY! I feel personally attacked! Would you do it for a million?*
*Amy why would I do it for a million. It's not as if I'm gonna live to see those beautiful green papers*

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It felt like seconds when we spoke together. It was now 7:49 pm and she had to get started on her 'get to know me' essay. She started school a week earlier than me but I never understood what those papers were meant to do.
  They're worthless it's not as if the teacher will actually read them. What's even more confusing is when teachers separately give papers to you. Why can't I fill in one of them and all teachers can share that paper I mean it's 2017 photocopy it or something.
    I went down stairs to watch the show my dad put on. He was cooking lasagna in the kitchen and I was too busy watching the tiger eat his prey. I clicked off I don't see how he finds interest in that.
Mhmmmmmmm I smell deliciousesnesss
*foods ready!* yelled my dad.
That's all he had to say to get me on my feet and in to the kitchen. In a matter of minutes my plate was full and I was one happy trooper.
*soo how was school* *it was fine* but what I really wanted to say was who likes school it was terrible and one person doesn't like me only 757 more students to go. *okay well me and mom spoke and we are expecting good grades this year*
*speaking of which where is mom?*
*work she won't be home till 9* how can she stay up that late. Hospital rooms smell like old people and imagine constantly hearing screams and cries. I would pass on that job nooo thanks.
Dad and I ate dinner in silence. It wasn't one of those weird awkward silences. It was comfortable to be in. Every now and then I made faces at him and he made them back. We laughed once or twice but that was all until we finished our plates.
*can I go out tomorrow? Like around the block to feel safe here?* I really didn't want to spend my day at home tomorrow. *Yeah sure just be back before 7* I never like the idea of sneaking out. I would never do it and I don't think I could. My dad can be strict if he wanted to.
I grabbed both my empty plate and his to put in the kitchen sink for cleaning. I mean he did the cooking it's the least I can do for him. He kissed my cheek and told me his most reassuring words .* goodnight pumpkin* *goodnight dad*
He went to the office to finish off his work while I finished off the spoons and plates.
By then the kitchen was spotless. Well other than the fact that I really don't know how to broom so there may be some crums left behind.
I went upstairs at 8:45 to get ready to sleep and decided to wait until 9:30 for mom to be back. So I can prepare her plate and kiss her goodnight.