Humans Are Weird Space Orcs

Roomba, But In SPACE!

"Psst, Garrus." Shepard said trying to get the attention of the Turian. "Yes Shepard? What is it?" He asked. "Come here, I wanna show you something." They grinned before ducking their head out of the Battery Core. Garrus sighed and followed the Commander. "What do you want to show me?" Garrus asked. Their eyes sparkled and they pointed to something. The Turian looked to where they were pointing and saw a small, round thing with a knife duct taped to it. "What is that?" He asked squinting his eyes. "That, Garrus, is a roomba. It's a cleaning robot." Shepard grinned, puffing out their chest. "Why, do tell, does it have a knife taped to it?" Garrus inquired. "Because it looks cool!" Shepard exclaimed. "Does it serve any purpose? Make the crew more vigilant? Weed out the weak? Protect you against any enemies that come aboard?" He asked. Shepards grin faded into a frown. "It doesn't really have any purpose other than it looks cool. It kinda helps. No, it doesn't weed out the weak, and seriously? Who'd want to attack the Normandy when I, Commander Shepard, am on board?" They answered. Garrus looked unimpressed. "The Collectors attacked the Normandy five years ago. The attack that killed you." The Turian said bluntly. "I came back from the dead to kick their asses!" Shepard huffed, crossing their arms. "Cerberus brought you back because you stopped Saren and the Geth, and you had knowledge about the Reapers." Garrus explained. Shepard narrowed their eyes and was about to say something when Garrus yelped in pain and started to clutch his foot. Shepard looked and saw the roomba with the knife slowly drive away.