poems 'n shit

Why do I cry?

Why do I cry when I hear your favorite song?

Why do I cry when I look at my favorite stuffed animal you gave me?

Why do I cry at 3 am because I m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ can't stand you?

Why do I cry when I think of every time we have sat in that same McDonald's booth?

Why do I cry when I think of the swings?

Why do I cry when I look at the swings?

Why do I cry when I think of all of our after school moments at the park?

Why do I cry when I think of all the times we ran at each in slow motion?

Why do I cry when I think of all those times we walked to class together?

Why do I cry when I think about all of our inside jokes?

Why do I cry when I think of those times we were supposed to be working?

Why do I cry when I think of those moment sitting on the side of the road?

Why do I cry when I think of us sitting at your kitchen counter, eating really spicy ramen and watching iCarly?

Why do I cry when I think about the dumb jokes and stupid puns?

Why do I cry when I think about my dad getting mad at me for getting home 30 minutes late because we lost track of time?

Why do I cry when I think of all the times I turned off your music when there were kids around?

Why do I cry when I think of all of our deep talks?

Why do I cry when I think of that one time we played Minecraft for 8 hours straight, just enjoying talking to each other?

Why do I cry when I think of the time I stole your hat to look like a fuckboy?

Why do I cry when I think of that time you got mad at me for talking to your ex boyfriend?

Why do I cry when I think of when you forced me to play Roblox, but I immediately crashed the car into the pool?

Why do I cry when I think of the time you got me the giant bag of gifts for my birthday?

Why do I cry when I think of the time we laid in your dad's bed, watching a movie and eating Starbursts?

Why do I cry when I think of the time in California, the only good part being about to be with you?

Why do I cry when I look into your eyes and see the pain?

Why do I cry when I think of the day you told me you were clinically depressed?

Why do I cry when I think of the times you tried to kill yourself?

Why do I cry when I think of the multiple times I talked you out of suicide?

Why do I cry when I think of the time I saw your scars?

Why do I cry when you tell me everything that's happened, when you deserve t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ nothing?

I cry because I fucking l̶o̶v̶e̶ hate you more than anything else on this entire Earth.

D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ leave me.

E̶v̶e̶r̶ Now.