Everything is a Metaphor (Camren)

"I fell in love in a dream, but I can't remember your face"

Listen to: We Move Like The Ocean by Bad Suns

~~~~~

It starts with the shortness of breath.

There are other elements, of course. Like the paralysis, the knowledge that you're dreaming but you can't stop it-cant stop the moments in-between the yelling and the laughing and then, finally, the screams.

It's the screams that always wake her up, but she still agrees that the shortness of breath is the worst. Initially, she'd thought that sleep paralysis itself was the worst she could ever experience, that no nightmare- no night terror- could ever top it.

But that was before the accident. And in case you're wondering: there are worse things than sleep paralysis. Just pray you never discover that for yourself.

Lauren awakes to the sound of her girlfriend's breathing, as always. Her arms are locked too tightly around her, as if she was trying to hang onto her for a reason. As Lauren removes herself from the smaller girl, her hands patting down her black, sweat-soaked hair, she expects to see her girlfriend's face, soft and undisturbed. She expects to see her wide brown eyes closed, her mouth open just slightly. She expects to see Camila's face, hidden behind loose strands of dark hair; her sharp cheekbones; chapped lips- Lauren had always been nagging her about chapstick, but Camila hated the taste of it on her lips.

Instead, there's a taller, lighter-haired girl where Camila should be.

They've been dating for two years now, and yet it's always a surprise when Lauren sees it's Lucy in her bed. Not Camila.

Because Camila's gone. Alive, mind you, but far, far gone.

Lauren curses herself for hoping otherwise. She buries her face in her palms, mumbling groggily, "Shit."

"You okay?" Lucy whispers. Her eyes are closed as she asks it.

"Yeah."

A brief silence comes over them, Lauren contemplating the nightmare shed just experienced and Lucy waiting for a command. Usually, Lauren always remembers the nightmares- mostly because they're always the same. The yelling, the laughing, the screaming, the darkness amplified by sirens. They all begin and end the same. Though this time, Lauren had a different nightmare. This time, she could actually see Camila's face, her bright eyes, and chapped lips. She could see the sadness dragging down each end of her mouth, carving bruised circles below her lashes. Every detail was enhanced, including the-

Lauren shivers just thinking about it. "Wait," She says, her throat scratchy and dry. "No."

Lucy sighs, maneuvering under the blankets to make room for Lauren. She motions for the taller girl to join her, flipping the duvet up and over her once she's snuggled in.

Locking her arms tightly around Lauren's waist, Lucy asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

In any normal, routine post-nightmare, Lauren would hesitate. Shed consider the dread weighing on her chest, evaluate how tired she'd be come morning if she avoided sleep for the rest of the night. But this time it's easier, or...maybe it's more difficult.

She replies shortly, "Yes."

Surprised, Lucy slowly reaches over Lauren to the bed stand, clicking the light on. She then retreats to Lauren's warmth, shielding her eyes from the light by tucking her head between the girl's neck and shoulder. She grabs Lauren's hand, too, knowing this is the most important to her girlfriend; the acknowledgment that shes here, shes okay, it was just a bad dream.

Lauren realizes only then that she's shaking. She squeezes Lucy's hand, harder than usual.

"Nothing changed," She begins, struggling to find the right words in all her exhaustion. "The story was still how it always is...The sneaking out, the drinking, the-" She shivers again. "The crash."