Everything is a Metaphor (Camren)

"Is there really no way to reach me?"

Listen to: Vienna by The Fray

~~~~~

She feels- as much as she hates to admit it- the same way she did when her dad died. At first, there's a shock, a sudden dizziness and the vivid feeling of all your blood draining into your heart, so that it can beat faster; nausea, the inability to breathe or form words other than 'No, you're lying!' But then comes the realization that no one, not even the devil himself, would lie about such a thing. This is real. This is happening.

Lauren is in her dorm room, on her bed, barely held together by Lucy's arms. She keeps trying to speak, wants to speak; but all that comes out is "No, no, no," over and over again, her head shaking side to side. If she could just focus on the present- on her being in her loving girlfriend's arms -she'd be able to at least a mumble something relatively coherent. Instead, the past keeps replaying in her head.

"Hey, that would be great, actually! I'm Camila."

"I'm-" And she freezes right there, her hand half-extended as her face goes white. Her lips tremble for words any word but really, what the hell can you say in a situation like this? Instead, Lauren simply stares at the girl until her vision blurs from panic or tears or both, she can't really tell.

"Whoa, Lo! You look like you're gonna be sick." Dinah feigns concern, throwing an arm over the shorter girl. "Here, why doesn't Lucy take you back to your dorm?" She cocks her head out so that Lucy can see the panic in her eyes. "Right, Luce?"

That's really all Lauren can remember, anyways. There's Camila, then Dinah, then Lucy, then one more look back at Camila and Dinah. The worse part is, Lauren can see Camila's face so clearly in her head: her brown eyes, wide with concern; Lips not so chapped anymore, but still bright pink; Hair a little all over the place, but somehow perfect the way it is. She is almost exactly the same, almost exactly how Lauren remembers her. Camila wasn't freaked out by Lauren's episode. Instead, she was incredibly worried. And if there's anything about this girl that Lauren holds close to her heart, it's her automatic concern for complete strangers. Camila was and, thank god, still is, the type of girl to take a homeless person out to dinner. Talk to them. Learn about their life story, all for the price of a single meal. And in Camila's eyes, what could be better than that; the feeling of helping another?

But Dinah-...She just stood there. Impatient. Annoyed. Not one fucking look of regret. And that, almost more than anything else, is what really killed Lauren. She knew this was happening. She knew Camila was the new student, all along. And she didn't do a damn thing.

Lauren launches into a fresh bout of sobs. Camila. Back, as if from the fucking dead.

After what seems like hours, a knock at the door forces Lauren and Lucy to finally depart. The latter runs over to the door, wanting the intruder to go away as fast as possible. The sight of her girlfriend's concern almost makes Lauren forget how fucked up her life is. Almost, until she recognizes Dinah's face peeking from behind the doorway.

As if sensing the anger rising behind Lauren's tears. Dinah instantly raises her hands in defense. "Just hear me out, okay?" She steps inside the room without an invitation, brushing past Lucy harshly. "I was going to tell you-"

She freezes. The girl before her is not one she recognizes. They've known each other for years, and yet Dinah has never, never seen Lauren in such a distraught state. It doesn't compare to how she looked when Camila first left. No, this is worse. The girl lay in the same clothes from earlier, though the collar of her black t-shirt is almost entirely soaked through from tears. Her face is red as a third-degree burn. Her entire body shakes, even when she isn't coughing out a sob. She looks so small, fragile; like a little kid who's just been told their dad isn't coming home.