Everything is a Metaphor (Camren)

Everything is a Metaphor

Final Chapter

Listen to: Choke by One Republic (or, since we've already used this song, listen to Memories or Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes...or Hey Now by Augustana, for theatrical effect.)

~~~~~

Among many other colors.

Pink, for the color of her lips.

Red, for the surge of blood throughout her ligaments.

Blue, for the oxygen healing her body.

Yellow, for the way it makes her feel.

Between the jumbled joinings of their lips, the subsequent shutter of their eyelids; it is within this kiss that Lauren realizes love is not black and white. Love is not, 'this path has been carved for me, so I must follow it'. Love is making a new path. Love is every letter of the alphabet, from LGBT to XYZ. Love is color.

But color, Lauren realizes, is something she cannot handle in her current condition. This is why she is the first to pull away.

Upon seeing the disappointment in Lauren's eyes, Camila immediately breaks into tears. She shakes her head, mouth agape.

"I'm sorry- S-shit, I'm so sorry, Lauren, I just...." She glances all over the room, completely freaking out now. "I remembered that it-....and I-...shit-"

"It's okay-"

"I texted D-Dinah to bring your inhaler, b-but she...and I, I just thought-"

"It's okay, Camila-"

"That was so insensitive of me, I-I know, I'm sorry-"

Lauren silences the girl with a kiss, and this one is more meaningful than the one prompted by Camila. It is indeed a way to silence the girl, Lauren admits, but now more than ever is the time she needs to convey her love for Camila. She needs her to know she loves her-literally-to death. There's a reason she jumped in front of a car for the girl, and though she's lost some feeling in her legs, the love Lauren has for Camila hasn't diminished one bit. The love will always be there, and Lauren needs Camila to know this- more than Lauren needs to breathe.

Because the next words she's about to say will be the hardest part in all of this.

When they pull away, Camila knows what's coming by the gray in Lauren's eyes. She instinctively latches onto Lauren's hands, and this time she cannot tell who is shaking more.

Tears gather behind Lauren's lash line. She opens her mouth to speak, but her words fail her and she's forced to simply shake her head; in the same way, a doctor delivering bad news might.

Camila squeezes Lauren's hand harder. "Don't tell me I made the wrong choice." She shakes her head this time, albeit more slowly. "Please."

Finally, Lauren allows her tears to fall. Still, she shakes her head, voice barely above a whisper when she says it.

"I can't."

Camila gives her a stony look, waiting for more.

Lauren shakes her head again, barely getting the words out. "I can't be with you."

The words are enough to communicate the sounds a heart would make when cracking.

Immediately, Camila tears her hand away from Lauren. She stands up and withdraws from the girl, pacing around the room with her hands in her hair. Her breathing catches as she whispers to herself, "No, Jesus Christ, no."