When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The way your eyes seemed to change color while you talked, the way your mouth turned into a curve when you smiled. The way we used to go out on walks, stopping at every crack on the sidewalk and jumping over them. For the first time, I was absolutely sure about something.
When you first moved in with me, you told me you felt safe. That you were truly happy and content with me. I used to lock all doors and check them six times before feeling convinced. Flipping the lights on and off and on and off and on and off till you smiled and said, 'It's alright, honey.'
After some time, you changed. Whenever I tried to hug you goodbye, you told me you were getting late. Your smile no longer brought that beautiful curve. You spent more time outside than with me. Whenever I tried to talk, you were busy. At every crack in the sidewalk, I stopped, but you didn't.
One day, I come back from work and see a note on the bed saying you moved to your aunt's as I was a distraction. As you could no longer tolerate my chronic ADD and OCD. As you could no longer understand my childish behaviour.
Everyday when I come back from work, it breaks me to think that you're not there anymore to open the door with a huge smile. It breaks me that your new boyfriend doesn't love you enough. That he isn't what you deserve.
Everyday I lose my mind over how much I miss you being there, and how I would do anything to have you back. Looking around for you in the streets, out the window. Praying every doorbell is you. Compulsively checking my cell phone, my email, my networking accounts every five minutes, hoping for a call or even a small text from you.
Everyday I read that note over and over and over and over again, wishing I could change the past and right all the wrongs. Wishing I could change myself and get you to stay with me once again.
I want you back so, so bad, that every night, I leave the lights on.
I leave the doors unlocked.
YOU ARE READING
The Sappy Book Of Poems, Rants And Short Stories
Ngẫu nhiênA place where I put up the stuff I write in my free time. It's not really that great, and nobody is going to read this anyway, so it's basically a diary for myself.
