Jump | H.S.

Chapter 16

Jumper's P.O.V.

I can feel his body stiffen slightly as I move my lips against his. He wasn't prepared for the kiss, but he at least doesn't push me away.

I think I love him. I know I haven't known him for a long time, but I can't shake the feelings I have for him. It's crazy, it's insane, and it's completely mad, but I already care so much for him. I trust him with everything I have and I don't want to lose him. A man has never treated me like he has, never protected me, never saved me. I should have larger guards up, I should hold myself back, but I can't seem to find it in me to do so, especially since he finally opened up. Apparently I'm not the only one who has trust.

I am glad he told me about her, the story behind the paper plain pendant that is always around his neck. It was an anniversary present, and she wore it everywhere, as does he now too.

I feel bad for him, with what happened. I can tell he really loved her, and love is a touchy subject for him.

His body begins to loosen up, as his lips move against mine. His tongue trails over my lips, but I deny him access, just wanting a sweet soft kiss. My fingers tangle in his messy curls, while his hand snakes around me, resting on the small of my back.

I massage his head with my fingertips, causing a throaty groan to be let out. We pull away for air, and I already miss the warm contact as the colder air caresses my mouth.

Our foreheads rest together, eyes staring back at each other. I want him to tell me he thinks he loves me too, but I don't think I'm going to hear it. Instead he tells me-

"You can't love me, Jumper." I feel my chest tighten at his words.

"Yes, I can," I whisper as I take his hand, squeezing it for reassurance.

"I don't want to disappoint you, I don't know if I can give you what you deserve."

I can feel myself getting upset at him. Why would he think that? Why would he react to the kiss if he's thinking this way?

"Why would you think that?" I snap, not meaning to.

"It was because of me that I lost her, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to not meet your expectations of a guy."

"It's not your fault, Harry. You had no control over the situation, and I don't expect anything from you. I like you as you are." His head is tilted down, eyes not meeting mine.

"If I went with her," he mutters, "She would be here." I know it's not the time to say this, but my mouth could not control itself.

"But would I?" This causes his head to snap up, a scowl spread across his face.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"If she was still here, would you have been at that bar? Would you have cared to protect me? Would I be here safe or with some pervert wanting my body?" I hope it doesn't sound selfish add I try to explain it, and it's not like I'm happy she died; but I know that if she was alive he wouldn't have been where he was. He wouldn't have been able to save me, and dammit, I've prayed far too long for a savior to get me out of the hell that I was in.

"No, I wouldn't have been at that bar, I would've been with her. Probably shopping in some ridiculous store," he smiles, most likely from shopping memories, before turning his face serious. "But I'd give everything to be shopping with her again," he frowns as he pulls his hands from mine and stands up.

"Please don't love me," he mutters, before looking at the floor and walking away. Leaving me feeling hurt and confused.