Dangerous

Chapter 10

My mouth fell open in shock. All I could do was stand there and stare at him stupidly. He looked so different than the last day I had seen him, two years ago. He was taller, and broader in the shoulders. His eyes, once a light blue, now looked gray. His characteristic smile had stayed the same, though, and my heart leaped.

Before I could even think about it, I swooped him into a huge hug, crushing him to me. He seemed shocked at first, but eventually wrapped his arms around me, enclosing me in warmth. Tears filled my eyes.

"I never thought I would see you again. I thought you were dead," I murmured into his shoulder, breathing in the smell of soap and sweat. I hadn't realized up until this moment exactly how much I had missed him. He chuckled softly in my ear.

"I'm still here." He paused, and I could feel his heartbeat quicken under my chest. I pulled back from the embrace, staring intently at him. His eyes searched mine, looking regretful.

"Marcus..." he trailed off. I breathed in sharply. He didn't have to finish. A new round of tears, no longer of joy but instead sorrow, filled my eyes and I let them trail down my cheeks. It was unrealistic to think that he could have still been alive, but I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

"How?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. Alex's gaze hardened, and he looked away, down at his feet.

"He tried to escape. Didn't get past the outer fence. Guards caught up with him and shot him on the spot. That was about a year ago." Alex's voice cracked, and I rubbed his shoulder reassuringly, salty tears still building in my eyes. He just stared at me, eyes watery and bloodshot. After a few seconds, he looked away. I took his hand, trying to call him back to me, feeling the callouses on his fingers. We stood in silence for a moment, mourning our brother.

He isn't coming back.

My heart jolted in my chest as I remembered the same thought rolling through my mind all those years ago. A fresh round of tears prickled my eyes and I forced myself to swallow them away. He really was gone now, gone in the worst sense of the word, in a way that made me want to scream and cry and beg in a feeble attempt to bring my brother back.

Anger rose within me. Of course, the only way I could want to bring my brother back was to throw a fit like a toddler. I swiped the tears away from my cheeks angrily, chastising myself for being so weak.

"I need to get out of here." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and Alex stared at me incredulously. A small memory emerged of the two of us sitting at the kitchen table having staring contests. Looking at him, I could see why he almost always won. His gaze was hard, and I cringed slightly. He didn't seem to notice.

"No." His reply was simple. His steady gaze swept over me. "No. I want out of here too, Jessie, but we can't. They'll kill us."

"I can't stay here forever!" I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. "I just can't. I need to leave. I need to leave, and I need to leave with you and Chase beside me." My voice cracked. "I need this, more than anything." My voice lowered to a whisper, pleading. I hated how selfish I was being but this was bigger than just me, too. It was bigger than all of us. It was for us, sure, but also for our families, our futures, and potentially for putting an end to this government program, or at least creating a hitch in their plans.

Fire burned in Alex's eyes, and he shook his head so quickly that I thought it was going to fall off of his shoulders. He looked childish, but here I was asking him for permission to basically go and kill myself.

"They will kill you Jessie," he said harshly, voicing my thoughts. "You won't make it."

"But what if I do?" I retaliated hotly, fire now burning in my own eyes. My patience was running thin, and he just wasn't understanding. Or he just wasn't wanting to. "I would rather risk dying to be free than staying here forever and eventually getting shipped out on a suicide mission anyway." He cringed at my statement. My words held a heavy weight, and I knew it.

Alex hesitated. I could practically see the wheels in his head turning, weighing the pros and cons. I waited, holding my breath.

"Okay." He closed his eyes, already feeling the burden of his decision. "Okay. I'll help you." He opened his eyes, staring intently down at me. "But I won't come with you."

My heart plummeted to my feet. I felt unsteady, and stared up at my brother in shock.

"If you die..." he took a shaky breath and swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, "Mom and Cassidy need someone. I may not be with them, but at least they'll have one of us left."

I nodded slowly. His words seemed harsh, but I understood his meaning. If I was killed, Mom and Cassidy had to have someone left to lean back on, someone to carry what little was left of their hopes.

My chest felt heavy, but I forced it to rise and fall. I felt guilty that my brother would have to face the consequences of my stubbornness, but this place was slowly driving me down the path to insanity, and I needed out.

Just as I was about to speak again, Rodney and Paul rounded the corner. Rodney looked slightly surprised to see Alex, but Paul just stared at Alex steadily. I looked down at my feet, heat rising to my cheeks.

"Everything okay here?" Rodney asked, looking first at Alex and then at me. His glazed eyes showed suspicion, bouncing back and forth between Alex and I, attempting to read the situation.

Alex grinned widely. "Yep! Joanna asked me to speak with Jessalyn just for a few moments," he said much too enthusiastically, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I stayed silent, tensing slightly under his touch. Why would he have used Joanna as an excuse?

Rodney cleared his throat, nodding. "Okay, then. Well, if you'll excuse us, we need to get Jessalyn to her classes."

"Of course!" Alex exclaimed, letting his arm fall from my shoulders. He turned to me. "It was nice meeting you, Jessalyn. I'll see you soon." With a final concentrated look at me, he turned away, walking down the hallway, his black shoes squeaking softly as he went.

"You know him?" Rodney asked gruffly. I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Never met him before in my life."